
I think you know how it works: sometimes, it is tiny things that change everything.
So I’ve been considering all those minuscule, obscure things women do that men just love — and have no clue about.
Well, I am not a relationship expert or anything like that, but I have been in my fair share of relationships as well as talking with friends. And let me tell you, there are some things that make guys turn to soft inside no matter how much you try to hide it.
Thus, I decided that it would also benefit you to know these few things in life. Perhaps some of these things are things you are already currently doing (well done you!), or maybe there is something new you will learn that will help make your man’s heart flutter.
Nonetheless, I ‘guarantee’ that it will be enjoyable to dissecting these little signs with each other.
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1. She Playfully Exits Argument
I recalled a situation that happened last weekend. They were sitting next to me in Restrobar.
That couple were having a fierce argument on how to prepare pizza. The woman was quite eager and had the sparkle in her eyes as she was firmly standing for pineapple as a topping.
Her partner who was obviously a traditionalist feigned shock.
What caught my attention was not the content the conversation, but her opposing view. She was quite fiery but not aggressive; she could argue with him without making him feel that he is wrong.
It was a battle of the minds a banter in words and phrases, playfulness and mild aggression.
Dr. John Gottman, stresses the role of how couples do it. He says, “Successful couples know how to disengage from a fight.” But perhaps it is equally important how the couple fights.
I contemplated on how good it feels when a woman is firm in her stance but doesn’t make the conversation dull or dreary. The only goal one should have in mind is the pure pleasure of the mental challenge.
2. The Quirky Vocabulary
She is a word coinage expert, as far as I am concerned. In the beginning, it was rather difficult for me to understand it, but, gradually, I realized that I started employing her new terms in my speech and even in my thinking.
We have a term for it now, “Frazzlesnack,” that we use when both of us are hungry and annoyed.
David Crystal, a linguist, said, “Language play is not just a form of entertainment; it’s a fundamental part of human communication.” Thus, Her ingenuity in the use of language enriches the communication and gives us a certain language code that only we understand.
I never thought that I would feel a spark with someone because of the former’s capability to create meaningless but appropriate words, and here I am, secretly laughing at every new word that she comes up with.
3. Silent Supporter
I saw a youth trying to carry several vegetables in a large box. The woman beside him, his partner I presumed, silently shifted her feet; she became a counter for him to rest the box against. I saw that in market.
It was such a minor action, almost intimate even, but it said so much.
The way she went about it was the beauty of it, she didn’t assume control or otherwise make it a public issue, she simply made his job just slightly less difficult.
This reconnaissance make me look back to a study I came across in Journal of Social and Personal Relationships and discovered that silent support — that is support from the other person to the recipient in such a way that they may not even recognize they are being supported — is preferred over direct support.
I contemplated on how huge such simple, unspoken gestures can be at times, when people are literally passing by each other’s lives. It is not dramatic and romantic, but being aware of partner’s needs and providing solutions to those needs without much fuss.
4. The Curator of Comfort
While my vaction on trekking i looked and saw a woman placing a spread on the ground and laying a checkered blanket. He followed her, and he looked tired after what one could assume was a phone call. Silently, she placed in front of him his favorite snack, and I could see the look of delight on his face; then she started to knead his shoulders for a moment before resuming her position.
This scene depicted what psychologists refer to as bid for connection — people’s attempts to seek for attention and affection. The way she served his unexpressed desire, without disturbing his work and making him comfortable was quite charming to watch.
It made me reflecting on the fact that how much we neglect the value of such gestures. It is not about sweeping a girl off her feet, rather it is about the protection one provides in the daily grind.
5. She Tries New Food Combination
She always tries to make new things for me. Her cooking is rather illogical at times. Peanut butter and pickle sandwiches? Check. Ice-cream with a drizzle of olive oil; is it the next big thing? Absolutely.
At the beginning, I did not believe it but now I am eagerly waiting for her next food creativity.
A study that appeared in the Appetite journal determined that people who are willing to try new foods are likely to be creative in other aspects of their lives, as well. The researchers propose that, culinary adventure-seeking could be an indicator of a person’s personality, specifically one who is curious and open-minded.
I never thought I would be physically attracted to a person for trying to mix two things that are not supposed to be mixed in real life, but here I am being attracted to for her ability to mix flavors that are normally not mixed in the kitchen.
Looking at the finally-folded socks (minus one, as, you always have that one sock that refuses to be paired), I realized how much these peculiar characteristics added to my life. The things that are portrayed in a romance novel or a dating tips section of a magazine are not here, they are not the ordinary, but they are genuine, they are individual and these are the things that make her — her.
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According to Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist working in the field of love, love is an omnibus concept; it is about the complete person. Another research that she has conducted indicates that it is the blend of characteristics that make people find each other attractive; the common or the peculiar ones.
It is now apparent to me that the world would be rather tedious if everyone followed a script on how to be attractive. It is rather wonderful to accept that everyone has certain peculiarities and to meet a person who, not only, tolerates them but also finds them rather cute.
Saying thanks to her for the help (I used at least three of our invented words) in the text message, I felt happy that the next day would come with new experiences, perhaps some failures in creation and certainly more reasons to appreciate the peculiarities of the woman I am in love with.
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I hope you enjoyed reading. This blog post comes from what I’ve learned, what I think, and what I believe.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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