5 Warning Signs You’re With the Wrong Person

Relationships with the wrong partners are simply stressful. When you’re in such a relationship, you’ll feel stressed from an endless search of validations for all the amazing, yet overwhelming feelings you have for your significant other.

And you’ll feel stressed and overly worried about the feelings of your partner, about the status of your relationship, in fact, you’ll be endlessly in doubt.

The truth is, we all sometimes feel stressed and doubtful in our relationships. There’s no point pretending that your relationship is sweet and cool all the time.

But there’s a difference between temporary and justified relationship stresses and doubts and an endless roller coaster of stress and doubts.

For instance, you might be stressed, insecure, and doubtful about your relationship. If your partner cheated and lied to you multiple times, is behaving strangely suspiciously, or if your intuition tells you that something isn’t right.

In any of such cases, your feeling of stress, doubts, or insecurity is quite normal and coming from a reasonable place. It might even be a helpful sign rather than an unnecessary burden. Since they might either help you save your relationship or just walk away from it.

But that’s not the kind of stress, doubts, or insecurities we are talking about here. We are talking about relationship stresses that leave you feeling endlessly disturbed, devastated, and less optimistic towards other stresses you face in life.

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#1. You don’t feel valued or respected.

Relationships aren’t anywhere near being easy or healthy, especially if there’s a lack of solid respect and one party is often underappreciated and even taken for granted.

Because lack of respect is one of the main predictors of relationships failures and taking one party for granted can be damaging to the relationship and their self-esteem.

The problem is that wrong and stressful partners sometimes find it hard to treat their partners with the respect they deserve that they even make their partners feel unappreciated for every effort they put into the relationship.

They endlessly ignore and trample over their partners’ personal boundaries, and they rarely say thank you even when their significant others go out of their ways to make them happy.

They are so obsessed with themselves that they care very little about the effects of their actions in their partners’ life hence, they shamelessly lie unceasingly to their partners and even dish their partners the silent treatments whenever there are troubles.

Or they don’t care or even ask of their partners’ opinions treating their partner’s voice like they don’t matter. Or worse, they let their partners shoulder all the responsibilities of making the relationship work.

The problem with staying in a relationship where you constantly feel undervalued and respected is that it drains your energy, makes you unhappy, and erodes your self-esteem.

Relationships are so much healthier if they aren’t void of respect and you feel valued, appreciated, and not taken for granted.

When someone can’t care about you enough to respect, appreciate, and communicate that they do, it often means they aren’t right for you.

They might love you so much and have strong romantic feelings for you but a relationship where love rules but respect, admiration, and appreciation are banished will forever feel wrong.

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#2. You’re constantly in denial.

Instead of calling a spade a spade, people in relationships with the wrong partners often convince themselves that something is right even when it’s obviously not.

They simply accommodate, justify, and compromise excessively. Specifically, they accommodate and justify lousy behaviors that are generally unacceptable to most people, and compromising their values and expectations is their second nature.

We’re living in an age where people easily lose themselves completely in relationships all in the name of loving their partners fiercely. Most people end up in such situations simply because they want to be liked and don’t want to be rejected, because they’re afraid of being single, and because they simply want someone in their lives.

The problem is that this makes them put up behaviors that are really nothing more than a lack of love for themselves and a lack of knowledge of their self-worth and value which causes problems in their love lives and can have the effect of making their partners treat them overly poorly.

By refusing to believe something negative about your partner or refusing to admit that you unhealthily argue consistently with your partner, you’re willingly getting yourself stuck in a prison of unhappiness.

if you are trying too hard to deny problems within your relationship, you are likely with the wrong person.

You might have a gut feeling that everything feels wrong about the way your partner treats you but you still don’t want to believe that it is.

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#3. Your self-esteem is being ambushed and crushed.

If it feels like your partner is consistently trying to crush and destroy your self-esteem, that’s probably because of a few different reasons:

They don’t think highly of you that’s why they don’t find it worthwhile to ask you for your opinions on most decisions they make that affect you and the relationship.
They don’t really care about whatever you say that’s why they don’t always listen to you.
They think you’re incapable of acting independently that’s why they always try to influence your decisions.
They don’t really care about the things that are important to you that’s why they’re less supportive of your hobbies, career, or whatever’s important to you.
They aren’t respectful enough that’s why they persistently suggest what you should do and sometimes even talk you down like a baby.

In this current day and time, many people subconsciously believe that having their partners’ best interests at heart is the key to building extraordinary relationships.

Although such a belief in itself is not wrong or bad, they go too far about it that their best intentions breed troubles in their relationships.

They constantly do things that are really nothing more than an endless act of brutal destruction of their partners’ self-esteem.

This addiction to subconsciously prey on their partners’ insecurities and vulnerabilities is partly related to the ignorance of the fact that extraordinary relationships empower and make both individuals feel great about themselves.

The thing is, when your relationship is harming your self-esteem, it’s easy to believe that you can do nothing other than believing and internalizing the unfriendly behaviors of your partner that simply diminishes your self-esteem.

But that’s not true.

You can stand up for yourself, fight for what you need by believing that you’re worthy of those things you deeply desire.

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#4. They expect you to behave in certain ways which they get to decide.

Some stressful and problematic partners may be bold enough to explicitly ask and expect you to behave in certain ways.

They’re unhealthily controlling. And in the process, they endlessly make you increasingly hesitant about doing certain things on your own or making some decisions independently.

The problem with staying in such a relationship is that it’s exhausting and can hurt your self-esteem, affect your moods, and general outlook in life. Worse, it’ll make you live in anxiety and fear of getting on their bad side by doing something contrary to what they expect and ask of you.

If you want to be truly happy in your relationship and your life, you need to feel at peace and free to do certain things you truly want and in your ways too.

You don’t need to be consistently pressured into doing your partners’ biddings and making them happy at the expense of your own happiness.

There’s no point in giving in to the insecurity-driven controlling behaviors of a stressful partner because it reeks of codependency. Since, according to PsychCentral, a controlling partner and a codependent partner are like two sides of the same coin.

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#5. You feel as if it’s your “duty” to make them happy.

We all might have heard the cliché phrase: “No one but you can make you happy.”

Yet, some people simply drain their partners by leveling on them the responsibilities for their happiness.

If someone lacks self-esteem and trust in themselves, they often try to make their partners feel like it’s their job to ensure they are happy. If this describes your relationship, you’re likely in a stressful relationship with the wrong person.

People who shoulder the responsibility of controlling their lives and happiness usually tend to be better partners. And being in a relationship with them is void of pessimism and bad vibes.

If someone’s consistently making you feel like you owe them their happiness, they’re probably not good enough for you.

Because the problem is that such kinds of people end up blaming you for everything that goes wrong in their lives making you feel incompetent and like a failure whenever you fail to make them happy.

Sometimes they try to fix you instead of investing in themselves, working on their self-worth, believing in themselves, and bringing more joy into their lives and even the relationships they find themselves in.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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