5 Ways to Move Forward After a Breakup

It’s a road that many have gone down way more times than we ever planned or needed to go. The breakup road. The road back to singlehood.

It’s a familiar destination but a different journey every time, because we’ve changed, time has passed, experiences have accumulated.

We are different people, slightly or drastically, inside and out. And that makes the journey no less hard each time.

When I have gone down this road in the past, it helped — even though it was unintentional — to give myself a tangible path to go along with the emotional and mental one I was about to travel.

Kind of like how spring cleaning happens at the turn of the season.

Cleaning out the old to make room for the new.

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In no particular order, here are five ways I have helped myself move forward, transform, grow, evolve, or whatever it was I needed to do with love after a breakup.

I cleaned out my closet.

This is almost habitual for me and maybe for you as well. I do it whenever I feel like I need to move forward but not sure how or where to start.

It might begin with a gathering of items that were gifts from him or that I wore on special occasions with him. Those sentimental pieces that bring back too many memories with too many emotions. My closet has always been too small for holding onto that kind of baggage.

I bought a few new outfits.

This kind of goes along with cleaning out your closet. Maybe you stumbled upon a favorite t-shirt or pair of shoes you stopped wearing because he didn’t appreciate your unique style or it just got lost in the mix along the way — something that can happen when you blend lives together. It’s like compromise but with yourself.

Buying new outfits is one way to declare your new self. Or at least your new sense of fashion. Of course, it doesn’t have to be a new you — it can be an updated, polished, liberated, funky, happy version. It can even be the old you back for an encore.

I picked up a new hobby.

This can also be a good way to refocus some of that emotional energy or repurpose that anger into something that enriches you instead of drains you. It’s healthy to feel all the feels and deal with all the stuff, and hobbies can help move things along.

Instead of sitting on the couch every night with a bucket of ice cream, I opted to learn acoustic guitar, build a gym habit, watch all the Marvel movies in order, earn a personal trainer certification, and went back to school.

Okay so some of my “hobbies” were -more or less- something else entirely, but the point is to be constructive or productive with your time.

Not all of your time — it’s a slippery slope into denial — but enough of it to keep you moving forward in some way.

I got a new job.

This may sound a bit dramatic but sometimes it was the best thing for me at the time. Maybe the breakup was the last push I needed to go for it. Or maybe the job felt different because I felt different.

A new job can be exhilarating and daunting all wrapped up in what was I thinking, oh, wow, this is fantastic.

It’s a big change. But so is a breakup sometimes.

I moved.

Like, got in my car and drove across the country moved.

Some people call it running away. I call it my prerogative.

Sometimes everywhere you go reminds you of your ex, and that can be exhausting, frustrating, and downright unbearable. It’s okay to want a change of scenery.

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As I’ve had many in my lifetime, I feel confident to give advice around breakups. Let yourself feel everything. Trust yourself to handle it all. And move yourself with compassion down that road back to singlehood.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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From The Good Men Project on Medium

What Does Being in Love and Loving Someone Really Mean?

My 9-Year-Old Accidentally Explained Why His Mom Divorced Me

The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex

The Internal Struggle Men Battle in Silence

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