No matter how secure people claim to be, I believe we all have the tendency to feel insecure sometimes. On several occasions, I’ve heard some of my male friends complain about their girlfriends. They talk about how insecure their girls are in their relationships.
After listening to their stories, I noticed that most of the time, it was in fact their own behaviors that resulted in those insecurities.
Even though your girlfriend’s Insecurities might be as a result of some personal issues of hers, your behavior might be adding to it as well.
Here are some ways your behavior is making your girlfriend insecure — or look insecure.
1. Failing To Express Your Intentions
Some guys are really bad at making their intensions known. They believe it’s more masculine to just act like they aren’t all that invested in the relationship. I totally disagree.
When you fail to make your intentions known to your girlfriend, it’s only normal for her to feel unsure. I mean, who wants to waste their time and energy on someone they aren’t sure of?
You have to let her know that you’re not just having fun with her. Unless of course there’s some kind of understanding that that’s what you both want.
If not, you should definitely be more expressive of your intentions towards her. You could say stuff like; ‘I really like you and I’m in this for the long haul’.
I’m not saying you need to do this often, I’m saying once in a while you need to let her know that you’re committed. A girl needs to know these things. You can’t keep someone in the dark and expect them to feel secure.
2. Playing Mind Games
I know guys who believe that the best way to get a girl hooked is by constantly ignoring her. They believe that this silly mind game works on every girl but they couldn’t be more wrong.
Personally, staying in a relationship where I’m being constantly ignored is something I can’t get myself to do. I’d rather end that relationship. Also, I know many girls who would do the same but even if it does work on your girl, there’s a downside to it.
You can’t love and value someone and not pay attention to them and your girl knows this. So when you constantly ignore her — feelings, opinions or needs, at some point she’s going to complain.
3. Flirting With Other Girls
I have never really understood why a guy would openly flirt with other girls — constantly and not expect his girl to be upset. When you do that and your girl gets mad,you say “oh its your insecurities”.
No Sir, its your disrespect!
How would you feel if your girl flirts with other guys and claim it’s all ‘innocent flirtation’. If you ask me, I’d say, there’s no such thing as innocent flirtation. Even the bible says that “out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks”. — Mathew 12:34
If you feel the need to still have sexy/romantic conversations with other ladies other than your girlfriend, its natural for her to be upset. Who wouldnt?
That’s not insecurity. That’s a reaction to being disrespected.
4. Being Dishonest
In my relationship, I made it a personal rule to always be honest with my partner. It doesn’t matter how scary the truth may be, I always chose it over telling lies.
This is because I’m aware of what constant lying can do to a relationship — it complicates things, so I avoid it. I wouldn’t want a situation where the truth comes out — it always does, and blows up in my face.
Honesty is always required if the relationship must stand. It doesn’t matter how hard it is, you should be able to open up to your girlfriend.
How she handle the truth should be up to her. You do your part in being honest, if she still doesn’t trust you then it okay to say you have nothing to do with it.
5. Hiding Her Identity
A lot of my male friends are guilty of this. You would never catch them post a picture of their girlfriends. To the public, they are totally single.
This to me, is a very bad sign. Any guy who isn’t showing off his girlfriend probably doesn’t take her seriously.
When I say showing off, I don’t mean excessively posting photos of her on social media. I mean, at the very least, your family and friends should know about her.
Also, what’s so wrong with posting a little picture of her on your social media?
This only proves that you are either ashamed of her or you have something else up your sleeve. When she complains you say she’s acting insecure. Are you kidding me? No you’re making her look insecure.
Wrap Up
When you love and value your girlfriend, you’d respect her, you’d pay attention to her and you’d be honest with her. If you arent doing any of these and she confronts you about it. Stop calling her insecure and accept your faults.
If you’re a girl and you’re in a relationship with someone who doesn’t respect you enough to consider your feelings and support you — mentally, emotionally and physically, you can do better. That relationship is unhealthy for you.
Because the more you stay in a relationship where you are constantly ignored, disrespected, and lied to, you’re likely going to develop insecurities.
Insecurities that you may end up taking with you into your next relationship. You need to find the strenght to decide what’s best for you and end the relationship as soon as possible.
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This post was previously published on Medium.com.
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