.
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It’s happened to the best of us. The flirty text banter that used to cause a surge of adrenaline has become pedestrian. And pretty soon “How was your day?” becomes “How was your week?”
Or perhaps they initiate a text conversation and tell you what they’re up to, but never actually ask you out.
Fortunately, all it takes is one small shift to turn it all around.
If you’ve lost momentum with someone, feel your momentum is headed in the wrong direction, or just want to improve your communication, this week’s video is a must-watch. I give you 6 specific text messages you can use or adapt to transform your current situation.
The great news is that you only need to try one of these 6 texts to change your dynamic right now. Be sure to let me know which one you try first in the comments!
Transcript provided by YouTube:
00:00
there’s a particular problem people are
00:01
having in dating today it’s been going
00:03
on for quite some time and it’s the
00:04
problem
00:05
of things never really going anywhere
00:08
you start talking to someone on a dating
00:10
app
00:10
you start texting them but you either
00:13
get no momentum with them
00:15
or it plateaus at a certain point and
00:18
doesn’t go anywhere after that
00:20
all the momentum completely dies
00:23
now i know you guys like it when i bring
00:24
you something practical something you
00:26
can use
00:27
today so i’m going to give you six
00:29
specific
00:30
text messages that you can use or you
00:33
can just take the principle behind them
00:35
and craft something of your own that
00:37
utilizes
00:39
that principle because what this is all
00:41
about is getting
00:42
momentum number one
00:45
add a human detail to your text messages
00:48
it’s one thing for someone to say how’s
00:50
your day going
00:51
and you say it’s going well thanks how’s
00:52
yours it’s another thing to say
00:55
it’s going well i’m about to go on a run
00:57
that gives someone a detail
00:58
something they can craft a conversation
01:00
out of or you could go one step further
01:03
and say
01:03
it’s going well thanks i’m about to go
01:05
on a run i’m dragging my little brother
01:06
with me
01:07
that now gives them a human detail on
01:10
top of it something
01:11
that paints a more three-dimensional
01:13
picture of you
01:14
in a world that is 2d we have to make
01:17
ourselves
01:18
three dimensional
01:22
number two i’m calling this principle
01:24
shorten the time frame
01:26
if you’re talking to someone on a monday
01:28
and they happen to be leaving the
01:29
conversation to go into a meeting
01:31
don’t finish that little chapter of the
01:33
conversation by saying
01:35
have a great week say have a great
01:38
meeting
01:39
have a great meeting as an interesting
01:41
phrase or if you say have a great
01:43
workout or have a great whatever they’re
01:45
doing right now
01:46
because it’s something you send to
01:48
someone you actually know
01:49
you may have only met this person
01:51
yesterday but when you say have a great
01:53
meeting there’s something familiar about
01:55
that there’s something personal about
01:56
that
01:57
there’s something that recognizes what
01:59
they’re doing right now
02:00
and it also makes it easier to pick up
02:02
the conversation
02:03
by them telling you how the meeting went
02:05
or by you asking how did the meeting go
02:08
have a great week says i’ll talk to you
02:09
next week have a great meeting says
02:12
we’ll talk later today
02:15
number three create a shared reference
02:17
together
02:18
if someone tells you something like
02:20
their favorite tv show is ted lasso
02:23
in a matter of minutes your relationship
02:25
dilemma will be in the past
02:27
then the next time you have a moment of
02:29
banter fun conversation
02:32
find a gif that fits what you’re talking
02:34
about from ted lasso
02:36
that’s a joke i love it that then
02:38
creates this moment of
02:40
i i know you a little bit b i was
02:42
listening and c
02:43
we have we now have a shared reference
02:45
together something that builds our story
02:51
side note when you send a gif or gif
02:54
harry it’s a form of pattern break in a
02:57
conversation
02:58
so it’s been text text text text text
03:00
and then this gif comes through
03:02
and it’s just like this little moment of
03:03
animation it doesn’t have to be a gif
03:05
you could be a voice note it could be
03:07
a picture but when you do something like
03:09
that it’s a
03:10
pattern break that grabs someone’s
03:12
attention
03:15
the intrigue complement give someone a
03:18
compliment that’s specific
03:20
but begin it with this phrase do you
03:23
know what i like about you
03:25
first you’re signaling that something
03:27
interesting is coming
03:28
how do i know it’s interesting because
03:29
it’s about them and that’s the most
03:31
interesting subject in the world to that
03:32
person
03:33
right so do you do you know what i like
03:35
about you
03:37
pause right you can even not put it in
03:39
that message just put one message you
03:41
could do this in conversation too and
03:42
just take a beat
03:43
but in text you say do you know what i
03:45
like about you and then you can wait for
03:47
them to respond
03:48
or just take a few seconds or a minute
03:50
and then send the next part
03:52
that creates this moment of suspense
03:54
intrigue curiosity
03:56
and it then allows you to give a
03:58
specific compliment that
04:00
shows not only a generous nature but it
04:02
also shows confidence
04:04
because you’re confident enough to
04:06
actually embrace
04:07
and speak out loud about something
04:09
specific you like about another person
04:13
number six the accelerator text the idea
04:16
behind this message is just to
04:18
keep things moving we have to have an
04:22
unwillingness to stand still an
04:24
unwillingness to be in a situation
04:26
where there is no momentum and that
04:29
means if you keep getting texts from
04:31
someone that don’t go anywhere
04:32
someone keeps sending you superficial
04:34
details of their day or what they’re up
04:35
to asking how you are
04:37
but it never culminates in a date you
04:39
have to have
04:40
a low tolerance for things that don’t go
04:43
anywhere
04:44
so i mean we had this example stephen
04:47
who’s in the back hey steve
04:48
we had this example a week ago where
04:51
someone said this guy he’ll literally
04:53
text me and he’ll tell me he’s making
04:55
soup
04:55
but he never asks me on a date but he’s
04:57
the one who proactively texts me
04:59
so here’s what you do you ask him what
05:01
soup he’s making he says chicken soup
05:04
you then say you know what’s even more
05:06
fun than chicken soup
05:07
chicken soup on a date and you see what
05:11
he says to that
05:12
that’s you calling him out for the fact
05:14
that he hasn’t asked you on a date his
05:16
give is firmly putting the ball in his
05:18
court
05:19
and saying your turn that may be playful
05:22
it’s not aggressive but it shows an
05:25
unwillingness to ignore the fact that
05:27
right now this isn’t progressing now
05:30
before you go
05:31
do you feel like you’ve in some way lost
05:34
momentum with someone
05:36
or do you feel like the momentum has
05:38
taken a turn
05:39
in a direction you don’t want it to go
05:43
i have a free training for you that is
05:46
taken
05:46
from a members webinar that i did for my
05:49
love life members so this is normally
05:50
reserved for my paid members
05:52
but there was a woman on there who asked
05:54
me a question exactly to that effect
05:56
it was going well and now the momentum
05:59
went in a different direction
06:00
how do i get it back again i walk her
06:03
through a step-by-step process of what
06:05
to do
06:06
and you can watch that too just as my
06:07
little gift to you this week
06:09
go to what to text next dot com
06:12
to get that free training all i ask in
06:14
return leave me a comment under the
06:16
video when you get there
06:17
let me know what you think that is at
06:19
what to text next dot com
06:22
i’ll make sure it’s here for you thank
06:24
you so much
06:25
and i’ll see you next week
06:43
you
—
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This post was previously published on YouTube.
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