In many different cultures, attractiveness is more than just beauty. It is a complex mix of physiognomy, character, and behavior. It has many times been possible to observe how society enlarges some attractive people and considers them an example of achievement and happiness.
Thus, I sought to dig deeper and locate some habits that really beautiful people avoid most of the time.
Most of us have been told that “First impressions last,” even in problems relating to beauty. Have you ever considered why it is so important?
That takes me to the “Halo Effect”.
It was first used by psychologist Edward Thorndike to describe our prejudicial attitude of believing that if someone is good in some fields he or she is likely to be good in every other field. For example, we subconsciously assume that if a person is good-looking, then they must be nice, intelligent, or trustworthy.
These types of biases may favor beautiful people by granting them unwarranted privileges in different aspects of life such as job interviews or parties. This might appear to be an advantage, but it is also a two-way knife that comes with a new kind of stress.
The core of this phenomenon is our brain’s inclination towards shortcuts. One such cognitive shortcut is referred to as the “Halo Effect”. Keep diving as you will see that attractiveness is more than skin deep and some behavior can make or break your first impression.
#1. Negativity and Constant Complaining
According to Dr. Barbara Fredrickson’s Broaden-and-Build theory, positive emotions broaden our awareness and stimulate us to explore new activities. However, if one is perpetually pessimistic, it restricts us in terms of vision and opportunity.
That is the reason, Why Attractive folks always appreciate the need to be optimistic. Besides, they have a positive effect on the mood and also assist in their relationships. A habit of constant complaining can drive people away. On the other hand, being optimistic and having a can-do attitude is a recipe for attracting positive interaction.
A University of California study revealed that positivity makes people sexy. People with positive behavioral traits were perceived to be more attractive than those with negative behavioral tendencies.
#2. Superficial Conversations
The idea of self-disclosure levels in relationships is explained in “Social Penetration Theory” by Altman & Taylor (1973). People grow closer through sincere and intense conversations.
Attractive people tend to demand depth in their relationships. It is clear that the basis of solid friendship is not shallow conversation but serious discussion.
Research in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin found that when they discuss more deeply, people feel happier and more satisfied with themselves.
#3. Inauthenticity
Carl Rogers, a well-known psychologist, gave great significance to genuineness in his self-concept theory. He thought such congruence (the alignment of one’s self-image with real experience) meant feeling fulfilled with life.
Authenticity mostly resonates with attractive people. In addition, being genuine develops trust and helps to achieve more enjoyable and efficient interactions.
#4. Superficial Relationships
The ability of attractive people to appreciate depth in thinking, actions, and relationships.
The theory of mirror neurons suggests people have a tendency to copy the feelings and behaviors of others. Therefore, in order to be appealing, one needs to exhibit a natural trait of being deep through establishing meaningful, deep relationships. Beauty can be felt, not only seen; it grows out of a deep relationship with fellow men.
#5. Unhealthy Lifestyle Choices
In numerous ways, beauty is an indication of general wellness and vigor. Therefore, individuals who make wrong lifestyle choices such as unhealthy eating habits, lack of exercise, and insufficient sleep can compromise their appearance. A bright complexion, a spring in one’s steps, and twinkling eyes that result from a good lifestyle are hardly noticed as signs. And let me tell you that they have a great impact on what I am considered to look like.
#6. Overindulgence
However, the “Hedonic Treadmill” theory purports that one may experience temporary gratification through pleasure but ultimately regain baseline satisfaction. Most attractive individuals are more concerned about long-term well-being than short-term pleasures. Overindulgence is bad whether it is on food, expenditure, or any other vice as it results in regrets and health issues.
Attractiveness in the Age of Social Media
Today, in our age where social media has taken over every part of life, the concept of looks has been stretched beyond measure, distorted in an unimaginable way, and sometimes even manipulated. I often fall into the trap of scrolling past perfectly curated photos that end up making me compare myself. The pitfalls of this digital era include comparisons that cannot be avoided. These platforms may be able to motivate as well but they are deceiving. Filters and corrections are mostly used for the purpose of authenticity.
But here’s the silver lining: the value of authenticity in online space is increasingly acknowledged empirically. These days, real, unfiltered content and true stories draw in users. In the case of the first impression, picture-perfect posts may be appealing but it is authenticity that creates trust and deeper relationships. Genuineness emerges as a strong facet of the digital world’s attractiveness.
The Inner Beauty
It may sound like an age-old adage “Beauty lies in the skin”, but in fact, it contains a profound truth. During my journey through the complex landscape of beauty, I have learned to value the invaluable contribution of internal traits. Eventually, qualities of kindness, care, strength, and genuineness become more important than beauty.
On the other hand, a myth still exists that beautiful people do not have character. It’s essential to debunk this. Like any other person, beautiful people have varied characteristics, experiences, and life purposes. Classifying them based on their outer appearance would be an injustice to the diverse nature of human beings.
In fact, true magnetism for attractiveness harmonizes inner and outer beauty as one. It understands that physical attractiveness may be instrumental to bringing somebody closer but it is internal strengths that actually grab somebody’s attention and remain in one’s memory.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Brian Lawson on Unsplash