6 Ways to Move On—Even When You Still Love Them

You met them one day. Chances are, you still remember it clearly. Started talking, became friends. Things didn’t stop just there, it was something more — you realised you’re in love with them.

Everything was great for a while, until that day — when things fell apart beyond repair (whatever may the circumstances be), even though you tried your best to hold it all together. Now they’re gone and here you are, still missing them terribly, most of your thoughts filled with them, looking for a way to make things like before again — well, still in love with them.

I know you must be hurting, it’s painful and people just don’t get it because it’s beyond logical reasoning. You feel a void, an emptiness in your heart and hey, it’s okay. Your feelings are justified.

But you need to move-on from them, as hard as that might seem, it’s the right thing to do. You can’t be hurting forever, there’s so much happiness that lies ahead of you.

Everything that’s been taken away from you will be replaced by something better.

As cliche as it may sound, it’s the truth. Be it people or anything materialistic, everything that didn’t work out for me was for a reason — there were better things waiting for me and now that I think about them all, I wouldn’t want it any other way.

And I assure you, it’s the same with you as well. So, Let it go.

Now, I also understand it’s easier said than done. And to help you with exactly that, here I’m sharing 6 ways to move-on from them when you’re still in love.

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#1 Acceptance

They are gone. It’s over. They’re not coming back. Let go of the fantasy.

You need to accept, it actually happened, and not live in denial. Many times, we are unable to process that the relationship is over, we still hang on to the fact that maybe this isn’t the end and they’ll come back eventually. Don’t linger on the ‘what could have been’, rather focus on ‘what actually happened’.

Know that you’re enough with or without them. Do not fear being single, as it just increases the longing for your ex-partner and attempts to renew the relationship, according to studies.

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#2 Forgive but Don’t Forget

Yes, they did you wrong and you just can’t forgive them, especially after the pain you’re in because of them.

But hey! It’s not about them, you need to forgive them for you, for your own peace of mind. But while you forgive them, don’t just forget what they did, keep that as a reminder in your mind to never let them in again and to avoid the same happenings in future.

It actually works, so let go of the grudge, and make peace with the past.

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#5 Cut Them Out of Your Life

Don’t entertain the thought of being friends with them specially just after the break-up. That’s basically like hoping, you would get back together.

Don’t give them access into your life, block them off of your every social media and phone contact. Trust me any other way, you’ll end up with their thoughts one way or another, hurting your own self.

In case, you can’t completely cut them off for whatever reasons, just try to be civil as you’ll be with any other person and not friendly. Understand the difference and draw the line.

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#4 Don’t Hold Onto Their Possessions and Let Go of The Memories

This might be hardest thing to do, especially when you’re still in love with them. But trust me as overwhelming as it might be, it’s also going to be the best thing you’ll do.

You wouldn’t want to see those possessions and dwell into the past, it’s just not healthy for your mental peace and emotional recovery. Studies show that keeping and holding onto the possessions negatively relates to post-breakup adjustment. So, throw their belongings and gifts away and don’t forget to delete those chats and Instagram pictures of them.

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#5 Focus on Your Personal Growth

Elevating focus on your personal growth is by far the smartest thing you can do for yourself instead of entertaining your ex-partner’s thoughts. This study shows the prevalence and correlation of personal growth and distress following a romantic break-up.

So, love yourself more, believe you deserve so much better and it’ll come your way. Treat your body right. Surround yourself with loving environment. Learn that new skill, you were always interested in. Slowly but surely, heal your mind and body.

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#6 Reconnect and Meet New People

Don’t be alone and try to deal with everything yourself. Reconnect with your friends and talk to them about your feelings instead of bottling them up. Trust me when I say, the heavy feeling that’s weighing your heart, will lighten up and eventually vanish.

Go out often and meet new people. Not only will that keep your ex-partner’s thought at bay but would give you the chance to meet someone great and way better than them. Yes, I understand you still might love them but this research shows that focusing on someone new may help you (anxiously attached individuals) overcome attachment to an ex-romantic partner.

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Moving-on from a relationship is difficult and especially when you still are in love with the person. But if you’re still with me till here, I know you’re absolutely ready for that big step and I assure you these ways are going be helpful provided you’re willing to let them and the pain go.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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From The Good Men Project on Medium

What Does Being in Love and Loving Someone Really Mean?

My 9-Year-Old Accidentally Explained Why His Mom Divorced Me

The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex

The Internal Struggle Men Battle in Silence

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