Sometimes it takes terrible decisions, unfortunate circumstances, and a little time to grow up to finally understand the best of what we always knew.
It feels like these lessons come too late, but maybe that’s because they haven’t sunk in yet.
Here are seven of my favorite life lessons learned too late:
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1. People are as happy as they make themselves up to be.
When I was younger, I thought everyone was happy all the time.
I guess I just assumed that everyone was happy only because they had the same outlook on life as I did: “Life is full of joy and laughter!” There wasn’t much else to it.
Unfortunately, I found out fast that you can’t assume anything when it comes to other people.
While some people do have a naturally positive outlook on life, many people still struggle with some form of unhappiness.
I know this because I’ve struggled with bouts of unhappiness.
That’s why I now believe that happiness is completely within our control.
We can either make up our minds to be happy or we can choose to be unhappy.
It’s that simple.
So, I’d say, be as happy as you want, and if you’re feeling a little down in the dumps, fake an optimistic outlook and see how much better it feels.
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2. There are no mistakes, only lessons.
When I was a kid, I had a habit of pointing out my mistakes and criticizing others even when they hadn’t done anything wrong.
It got old fast, and I soon realized that there is no such thing as a perfect human being.
Embrace your mistakes. See them as lessons that can help you grow.
Whenever you do something wrong, see it as a chance to be better the next time around.
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3. It’s okay to be different as long as you’re not a freak.
When I was young, I thought that I should follow the crowd and always believe the same things as everyone else.
You know, like, “Sure, there may be a lot of people who think that Pepsi has better taste than Coke, but I’m a Pepsi person myself.”
That type of thinking really got me down in the dumps a lot of times when I was younger.
It didn’t help that I also really liked to keep to myself and not say anything just to fit in.
Admittedly, that’s still pretty much the case for me now.
But over time, I’ve realized that being different is a good thing.
It’s okay to be the opposite of everyone else, and it’s okay if you like things that aren’t popular.
Hell, it’s even okay if you decide to pick the underdog in any given situation.
As long as you’re not a freak and as long as you don’t go around hurting anyone, it’s okay to be different.
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4. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is just keep on moving.
Life is hard sometimes, and it seems like there’s no point in even trying anymore.
But sometimes the best thing you can do is just keep moving along.
Even if it’s slow going, even if doing so feels like you’re treading water, keep at it — because that’s exactly what you need to do.
You have no idea how bad things may get before they get better. It’s a lot harder to handle at the moment, but it’s easier in retrospect.
And hopefully, when things get better, you’ll have made the best of it because you kept moving.
It’s also a lot easier when you don’t give up in the first place.
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5. People aren’t always what they seem.
It’s pretty much common sense that people aren’t always what they seem.
But when you’re young, you just can’t help but be naive about it.
When I was younger, I thought that everyone acted in a certain way because they were like that all of the time and that there wasn’t any gray area to it.
“Oh, he’s mean? He must always be mean then.
“Oh, she’s nice?” “She must always be nice then.”
But I wasn’t oblivious to the fact that everyone has a different personality all of the time.
Just because someone is kind to you one day doesn’t mean that they’re always going to be kind.
And just because someone is mean to you one day doesn’t mean that they’re always going to be mean.
But when I was younger and more naive, I thought that people were either one thing or the other.
It wasn’t until after a lot of bad experiences that I realized that everyone has a different personality.
Maybe you’ll have to have some bad experiences of your own to reach the same conclusion.
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6. It’s okay to be selfish sometimes.
My mom always taught me that when it comes to the things that you want, think about everyone else in your life and make sure they’re happy too.
While I still completely agree with her on this, I now understand why it’s important to be selfish from time to time as well.
When you’re young, you have a lot on your mind, and there are plenty of people in your life who need you for various reasons.
But sometimes, some things are just more important than others, and other people just need to be happy by themselves.
When you’re younger, it’s hard to make this distinction, but when you’ve got a little bit of experience under your belt, it’s easy to see through the rose-colored lens of childhood naiveté.
So make sure that everyone in your life is happy at least once a month, but also take care of yourself too.
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7. It’s okay to say no sometimes.
I’m sure that if you’ve read this far down the page, you already know how important it is to be a good person, but I can’t help but reiterate it here.
You don’t always have to say yes if you don’t want to.
Life is short, and it’s easy to get caught up in other people’s problems and feel like you should do something about them.
But sometimes, saying no is better than saying something that could be taken the wrong way or that might result in hurting someone else.
When I was younger, I always tried to say yes to everything because I felt like it was the right thing to do.
It was hard for me to step back and see things from other perspectives sometimes because it’s hard for anyone who wasn’t raised in a similar situation to understand.
But now that I’m older, I try my best not to take on too much responsibility for the people around me.
It’s okay to just say no sometimes.
No matter how hard it is, you can always help someone else later.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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