7 Signs Your Relationship Is Ending

You know what’s even better than just being in a relationship? It’s being in a relationship and knowing where it’s going. It’s understood that the hashtag relationship goals posts aren’t the full picture and that the intensity of the initial infatuation levels out over time. But how do you know if you’re not just leveling out, but slowly making your way to the exit? Do you work even harder on the relationship, or are the signs motioning you towards the solo fly zone? We won’t tell you what to do, and only you can decide for yourself when enough is enough. However, here are some signs that, when frequent, could mean it’s time to make a relationship status change.

1. What is the Problem?

No one can agree to work on an issue together if they don’t first agree on what it is. So, you and your partner have to be on the same page and acknowledge the problem you both want to address. If one partner believes the other is the source of all problems, and the other thinks it’s the dirty dishes causing the fights, frustration will skyrocket when each party tries to solve a different problem. Common ground is required to make real change, and each party making half-baked potatoes does not a meal make.

2. You Would Rather Spend Time Anywhere Else But With Them

Calm down, we get it. The pandemic forced us all into constant close quarters for way longer than any of us planned. Needing to have a couple of hours of alone time here and there is totally normal and healthy; we’re not discouraging that. However, what is a sign that this might be the end is when the feeling of wanting to be away is constant. Maybe to the point where you might actively try finding other things to do either alone or with other people solely to avoid spending time with your partner.

3. You’re Getting Serious Cold Feet About the Future

Let’s whip out our crystal ball — just kidding, none of us know the future. All we can do is plan smartly for it and have some contingency plans if things take a detour. So, when you’re looking ahead but realize that either your partner doesn’t fit anywhere in that picture (even if you really want them to) or if you feel deeply uneasy about it, don’t ignore it. This could be a chance to look at things as a whole and objectively figure out why you feel this way.

4. You’re Both Firmly Growing in Different Directions

Change is good, even if it doesn’t feel that way in the moment. A mark of growth is change; however, that doesn’t mean we grow the same way. This isn’t good or bad, just different. Depending on your needs, you may choose to get out the gardening gear and work on growing together, adjusting to each other’s changes. Sometimes, though, the paths are wildly different, or one partner is rigidly fixated on their path, making growing together unreasonable or impossible. This might be a sign to flourish somewhere else.

5. You See Only Their Flaws

Love is blind, and isn’t that true in the beginning? We tend to ignore all the flaws at first, and over time, we start to see some and accept them along with their positive traits. However, should the way you view them now be the complete opposite of the beginning? Are you only noticing their flaws and outwardly complaining about them to your friends all the time? That could well be a sign that calling it quits could be healthy for both of you.

6. The Prospect of Another Partner Seems More Appealing

Don’t worry too much about that cute bartender you saw or the attractive co-worker you noticed. We’re still human, and just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you suddenly don’t know what good-looking is. However, do note if while thinking about someone else, you’re also entertaining leaving your partner for them. If this notice undermines the connection with your partner, it could be a sign that the connection is weakened and maybe on the verge of breaking.

7. Your Arguments Are Escalating

Arguments can be healthy, helping us to learn more about each other, if they become discussions with solutions. However, arguments that are constant, petty, and have no solution might indicate that the argument was never meant to have a solution, and you’re both just hurling anger at each other like supercharged fireballs, with the only intent being to hurt the other person. So, don’t throw in the towel if there’s a fight, but it isn’t a bad idea to assess what exactly is the goal of this fight. If it’s simply for mutual destruction, the relationship may well be over.

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Our relationships can be hard; we know nothing truly good ever came easy. So, it’s understandable that sometimes we give more time, thought, and patience to our partners than we would to others. Even so, it’s always good to know your own boundaries so you can see when it’s healthier to walk than to stay.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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