7 Things I Wish I Knew When I Was Dating

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Transcript provided by YouTube. Slightly edited with AI.

Seven insights have shaped my perspective on dating and relationships

I wish I knew these seven things when I was dating. Like many people, perhaps most people, I can look back on a time in my life when I was looking for love and misguided in how I was going about it. Here are seven things I wish I could go back and tell myself.

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Number one: You are not for everyone, and that’s okay. There were times in my life where if someone I wanted didn’t like me back, I would take it as a reflection of my value, attractiveness, or a personal failure. But being authentic means facing rejection—it’s normal and should be expected. As the saying goes, “You can’t make everyone happy; you’re not pizza.” Just like how I love sushi that my wife dislikes, not everyone will appreciate you, and that’s perfectly fine.

Number two: What we want and what we need are often very different. We might be attracted to qualities like status or charm initially, but these don’t necessarily translate into a fulfilling relationship. It’s essential to differentiate between ego-driven desires and what truly contributes to our happiness and compatibility long-term.

Number three: The idea that someone being hard to get makes them more valuable is a misconception. I’ve learned that valuing someone based on their availability or the chase can lead to unhealthy attachments. What matters more is finding someone whose intentions align with yours and who genuinely wants to build something meaningful together.

Number four: Intention is key. It’s not just about whether someone likes you or not; it’s about whether they want the same things you do. Do they envision the same future? Are they committed to a relationship with you? Understanding their intentions helps determine if they’re the right fit for a lasting connection.

Number five: Avoid indecision. Staying in the middle, unsure about a relationship’s direction, can hurt both parties involved. I’ve learned that clarity and decisiveness are crucial. Either commit to moving forward or respectfully move on, but avoid lingering in uncertainty.

Number six: Never abandon yourself for someone else’s sake. It’s easy to lose sight of your own needs and interests when trying to please someone or maintain a relationship. However, compromising who you are to fit someone else’s expectations is unsustainable and can lead to resentment.

Number seven: Just because a relationship is right doesn’t mean it will always be easy. Challenges and disagreements are normal, even in healthy relationships. Embracing the difficulties together can strengthen your bond and lead to growth and deeper understanding.

These seven insights have shaped my perspective on dating and relationships. Each lesson reflects experiences and realizations that have helped me navigate the complexities of finding love and building meaningful connections.

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This post was previously published on YouTube.

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