7 Things Men Secretly Find Sexy in Women

There’s a show on Netflix where single guys and girls are taken on a getaway in some exotic resort. The place is isolated, and they spend weeks there. The mission is to help them find love and, hopefully, take it all the way to marriage.

Within the first week of settling down, the single guys and girls start to naturally gravitate towards specific people. This happens gradually, but in the most unusual circumstances — they begin to create a connection without seeing each other’s faces.

Every day, a couple hangs out in a private room. This room is divided by a thin wall. So although they can’t see each other, they can have a conversation. They can divulge info about their respective lives. Their passions. Backgrounds. Careers. Dreams. They can even touch each other by touching the thin dividing wall between them.

These conversations create a certain degree of emotional connections. And even though they are yet to meet each other, some start to develop feelings for each other.

And believe it or not, those who do, begin to form real relationships.

Several weeks later, the grand reveal happens. They can finally put a face to a name. Butterflies flutter in their bellies just before meeting their lovers. When they finally do, there are hugs and tears. As to whether either of them is disappointed by the physical appearance of the other is something we’ll never get to know because they never show it.

As the relationships progress, the couples continue to know each other more intensely. Having seen each other, they feel closer than before, so they start to ask personal questions — no more surface-level talks.

Here’s what’s interesting: Whenever it’s the girl’s turn to ask, one specific question keeps coming up.

“What do you find sexy in a woman?”

What follows now is a collection of answers the guys gave, written in a way that drives the point home. I’ve also included one or two traits that my guy friends find sexy. If you’re a guy, see if one of these will resonate with you.

If you’re a woman, it might just give you an idea of what your man secretly finds sexy in you so that you can double down on that.

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1. She Can Anticipate His Needs.

One of the guys started by painting the following picture:

You come home from work, spent and drained, processing how the meeting with your boss went and that report that’s due in two days. You walk in, put down your purse, take off your shoes, have a glass of water before heading to the shower. When you’re done drying your warm steaming body, you step out of the bathroom. And there he is. A warm smile and your favorite cocktail in his hand. You think, “How sweet. This is just what I need.” Now wouldn’t that make you feel special?

He went on to say that while that seems like a small thing. It’s not. It’s the principle that matters most.

A man wants the same thing from his woman — Your ability to anticipate his needs. To read his mood — it’s often not that hard if you pay attention — and see what you can do to lift his spirits.

No one can tell you what exactly you should do. There’s no cut-and-dry act that works for all men. But if you know your man well or are working on knowing him well, you’ll discover the little things that make him feel special. Keep doing that.

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2. She Doesn’t Force Her Intelligence on Him.

Intelligence in a woman is very sexy, and the guys in the show said they love this. They said they hated being around a woman who plays dumb. They want to know they can have profound and engaging conversations with their woman. The problem is, at times, a woman takes too far.

When a woman continuously forces her intelligence on him, it makes him feel like he’s in competition with you. A know-it-all attitude is off-putting and often stems from a place of insecurity, so many people try to use their smarts to validate their worth. To make the other person see they are “someone.”

But if you’ve ever been on the receiving end of this behavior, you can probably attest to the fact that it’s easy to see the insecurity that such people fight so hard to mask. Most men can not only see when a woman is trying to be the Albert Einstein of her generation, but it also makes him feel as if he’s competing with you intellectually.

Obviously, you should never dumb yourself down. If the man is interested in having a deep heated intellectual conversation, then by all means, go for it.

But remember, most men will find you charming and sexy when your intelligence floats to the surface naturally, especially on topics he wouldn’t normally expect you to know. Say you’re hanging out with his friends, and you drop some unknown facts about car engines. Or something like that.

That’s enough to make your man think, “Damn, she’s cool.” Be smart, but don’t force it on a guy. Let it unravel naturally.

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3. She Has a Great Sense of Humor.

Gav — One of the men said he loves a woman who can take a joke. He’s not the only one. No one wants to hang around Sulking Sally or Ever-serious Eva.

And I get it. I’ve always liked my men funny. Listen, life is hard enough — so many responsibilities, deadlines, and things that are constantly nipping at our heels. That’s where a relaxing relationship comes in.

Think of it as a safe haven in the middle of the woods where you can throw caution in the wind, let your guard down, and have a really good belly laugh.

A man wants to be in an environment where he can say what he wants without fear of judgment. There’s something beautiful about someone who knows how to make you laugh, especially if you’re having a bad day. We all can use some pick-me-up atmosphere from time to time. A sense of humor really does take a relationship far.

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4. She’s Okay Being Makeup-Free.

Nothing makes a woman feel good like a face without blemishes, skin pigmentation, and acne scars. Most women need makeup to feel confident enough to kick ass. And that’s totally fine. There’s nothing wrong with accentuating your beauty or doing whatever one needs to get that zing in life. Besides, women should be free to do what they want with their faces.

But when it comes to makeup, these men had interesting opinions. I’m going out on a limb to assume that their opinions represent most men out there.

The first category totally loves dolled-up women. They want to see those cheekbones and eyelashes pop. In fact, some of the men on the Netflix show wouldn’t take their women out in public without make–up. And you know what? It’s nobody’s place to judge. Thankfully, these are a select few.

Another category said they prefer their women with little makeup if that. Let’s say a hint of lipstick and some mascara, and that’s it.

Then there was the other category — the most men category. These guys don’t fancy women with too much makeup; they choose to appreciate natural beauty instead. They are happy to see their ladies highlight their features without layering them with makeup. They said they find it sexy because it signals the woman is comfortable in her own skin.

This should give women a huge relief, knowing they don’t have to transform themselves and can embrace their natural skin as is.

P.S. But don’t let this stop you. Feel free to wear as much makeup as you want! The man who wants you will love you as you are.

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5. She Not Only Embraces but Also Highlights Her Femininity.

You’ve probably heard of the friend-zone phenomenon. It’s where one person in a mutual friendship starts to desire a romantic relationship while the other doesn’t. Relationship experts tell us that one of the reasons men put women in the friend zone is because they act as one of the guys rather than embrace their femininity.

To please the guy, she starts to act, talk, laugh, and make gestures as if she were one of his friends. The problem is, a heterosexual man doesn’t want to date — much less sleep — with one of his mates. He wants a woman who can capture his sexual attraction.

And the simplest way to do that is to highlight your femininity. There are so many factors that go into this. But to make it clear, ask yourself;

Which of these women makes a man’s head turn? The woman in jeans and a T-shirt or the one in a figure-hugging dress and heels.

Exactly.

A woman who embraces her femininity is attractive. But a woman who highlights this, now that’s sexy. However, femininity isn’t exclusive to dressing. It’s also about doing the inner work of understanding her feelings, connecting with herself, embracing her creative energy, and finding inner balance.

All these aspects place a woman in a good place emotionally. Being in a good place on the inside allows you to exude good energy on the outside. Sexy.

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6. She’s Assertive and Gentle at the Same Time.

We live at a time when a woman is becoming more and more empowered in her self-expression. Gone are the days when she had to bite her tongue at the dinner table to avoid upsetting her man. Now, she’s woke. She’s raising her hand, speaking out, and becoming assertive in demanding what she wants.

It’s about time.

But something else is happening in the background. In her assertiveness, she’s missing the delicate balance between aggression and assertiveness. In doing this, she’s pushing away the very person she desires to be close to — her prince charming.

According to my guy friends, the modern woman has taken her gentleness, tossed it out the window, and replaced it with combativeness and aggression. At the slightest triggers, she loses her cool. She’s also always competitive, which makes it incredibly hard for him to find her supportive.

Competition and support are not mutually exclusive. Men warm up the latter.

It’s not to say you shouldn’t express yourself. You just need to do it in a way that doesn’t crush a man’s ego. Ladies, aggression makes us look bad. As if we have no control over our emotions. When I asked my guy friends what they wish their women did, here’s what I got:

“She doesn’t have to agree with me all the time. She can disagree but do it in gentleness and kindness. But what makes us really adore her is when she‘s cooperative. It makes us feel we’re on the same team. There’s something in a gentle, kind, and supportive partner that makes us whisper to ourselves, “I’m exactly where I belong.”’

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7. She Takes Her Personal Hygiene Very Seriously.

A few years ago, I walked in on two male colleagues having an intense conversation. “… a woman? Smelling?”
In about two seconds, I deciphered the topic of their conversation — Cleanliness in a woman. It’s a big deal for men.

One of the guys in the show said he almost developed post-traumatic stress disorder after sleeping with a woman who had a low level of personal hygiene.

But before we go further, I feel we need to clarify one thing: Natural body odor. We all have our own unique body odor. Studies further explain that body order can tell us about a person, making it a contributing factor to attraction.

Our bodies use smells to identify clues about our potential partners’ genetic quality, health, and reproductive success. So body odor is valuable and essential. Now that that’s covered let’s talk about the aspect of low hygiene.

There’s a big difference between natural body odor and the stench that emanates from uncleanliness. One is natural and often not off-putting. The other is exactly that — off-putting. A woman’s smell can tell a man a lot about her.

A clean woman sends a clear message that she respects, treasures, and cares for her body— a trait men find sexually appealing. The truth is, we all want things that are well looked after, and your body should be one of these. Cleanliness is as simple as having clean breath, nails, armpits, feet, well-kempt hair. It’s really that simple.

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What are your thoughts?

As mentioned earlier, these are the opinions of the guys in the show. And since we humans are more alike than we are different, I think it’s safe to say that many more men are represented in these views.

But I’m curious.