Finding a partner is a lot easier when you know what you want.
—
What do you do when you fall in love and it leads you into a bad marriage and later, out the doors of divorce? What happens when you find your special one and somewhere down the road, death takes them? What happens when in spite of all your efforts you still haven’t found that one that you know is yours?
It is much easier for single seniors to close the door on love or to grow cold feet when faced with the prospect of getting out there.
Falling in love is as much an art as it is powerful. Here are some 7 ways to shake off the dust and get back on the horse.
◊♦◊
1. – Maintain a balance between alluring and sensible
When you are in your advanced years, a sense of style is more of an advantage than it would be for those of whom it is expected.
The greatest barrier a senior can encounter when seeking love will come from the mind.
|
It is also very easy at this stage in life to overdo it and look plain silly. The key is to be able to balance new trends that may be seen as alluring with what appeals to your sensibilities. You should go for something appropriate for your age, yet still dashing. Wear something that you can be comfortable in while still making a statement.
2. – Stop assuming we all know what you want; start saying it
As a ‘senior’, you can get so caught up in the motions, that everybody else perceives you as content. But if you are not comfortable being alone, you need to let people know. “I am looking to settle down” may not be a phrase your cousins or even children may expect from their fifty-something-year-old uncle or dad. Say it anyway.
Mention your need for love to a friend, a nephew or neighbor. You never know, there might be someone out there willing enough to do the job for you. Also don’t compromise with your sex life, make sure it is the best for you.
3. – Remember that Age is Just a Number
The greatest barrier a senior can encounter when seeking love will come from the mind. It is the tired old voice that keeps whispering to them; “you are way past your prime”.
Always remember that there is someone out there in search of love just like you.
|
Don’t listen to that voice. Instead, overlook the wrinkles and the grey hair, and rediscover that spark that made you a catch back in the days. When you discover it, build on it with all the confidence you can muster.
It could be your athletic build, your smile, your poems, your dance moves, or your voice. It could even be your sense of humor or your eccentricity. Whatever it is, you must use it maximally.
Finding love has a higher chance of happening for you when you project a confident image.
4. – Get to living your life
Did you ever have a bucket list? You know…the ten things you would like to do before you die? Well get up, put away the pajamas and start living your life.
There is often the temptation to look at life as just winding up when you are a single fifty-something year old. That shouldn’t be you. Instead look at life as if it just beginning.
At this point, always remember that there is someone out there in search of love just like you. But bear in mind that finding that woman may occur right in the middle of you giving life your best shot. And when you eventually find her, you will see that she is not looking for someone to die with, but someone to live with.
5. – Brush up your pickup lines
A couple of seniors out there still got game. These folks have no qualms using lines like, “Hey baby. Is that your natural smile or something?” The greater majority of seniors who are still single, however, have become somewhat rusty. Most of them will be uncomfortable with such lines.
Various dating sites have made the job a bit easier for us by creating a meeting point for singles.
|
What about lines like “Gee I’m not used to seeing this many people. How about you?” The idea is to start a conversation that streams into a friendship and then a dating situation. Just because you are fifty-something doesn’t mean you are sentenced to looking and not approaching.
Speak up to the person standing beside you in the post office or the bagel shop if you find her attractive. There is no shame in it.
6. – Set realistic targets
One thing every fifty-something-year-old single man must have is experience. Use that experience to narrow down your needs to what matters most. Let your expectations be realistic.
Unless you are Donald Trump or something, you may never get the slender looking, twenty something year old blond hottie. Scrap that. You definitely can, but don’t make that your target.
Being above fifty means you must have gotten to the stage where you know exactly what you need in a partner. But if yours is a hot, slender, sexy blonde with killer hips, by all means, knock yourself out.
7. – Seek help from the internet
Various dating sites have made the job a bit easier for us by creating a meeting point for singles. Presently there are a variety of dating sites available. Better still, some of them are specifically designed to cater to the dating needs of seniors. And who says you are too old to try online dating? Perhaps try elite singles reviews, the site offers its services mostly to mature men and women so you might want to give it a shot. You never know what you might miss.
The advantage of these dating sites is that you could literally search for your ideal targets and do your homework on them up before you get to meet them. And it’s always easier when the computer does the pickup for you. Just make sure to avoid these common online dating mistakes.
In conclusion, love can ignite a heart buried under decades of loneliness. To all the single and searching fifty-something men, here is to love.
◊♦◊
Photo: Getty Images
Sounds very positive and definitely some helpful advice for the over 50s looking for that special someone.
I have zero to offer any women,never married no children,so you are looked at by society as a freak.
I have officially given up the search I’m not prepared to put in the effort for no return.
It’s work,home,tv,bed and repeat for me.
Good luck and I hope you your search for love works out for you all.
At 54 it didn’t happen for me so realistically it was never going to happen, I think it’s called fate.
Amazing tips! The author seems to have done very good home work, before penning this down. All the seven tips are great and are the result of some good research in the field of adult psychology and issues faced by people in their advanced years. A must read!
Hello Jennifer,
You made my day with your comment. Thanks so much.
You are right, a lot of research went on before the article was written. And I am glad you liked it
I like this, especially number 3: “… It is the tired old voice that keeps whispering to them; ‘you are way past your prime’. “Don’t listen to that voice. Instead, overlook the wrinkles and the grey hair, and rediscover that spark that made you a catch back in the days. When you discover it, build on it with all the confidence you can muster.” I lived with that voice for a long time–starting well before I was fifty–and still have to remind myself not to listen to it. And still often fail and have to pick myself up again. But… Read more »