
Why do men lean into their urge to cheat?
My friends and I were talking about how women often decline offers fast. Yet, men aim to be polite and welcome the advances of women.
Men can declare their relationship status when they meet new people. But there is a little more work needed beyond such a statement.
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#1. Do The Hard Thing First
Men are human. Some see a change. Conquer it and move on with baggage. Others choose to delay misery. That’s right. You feel the shift in yourself or your relationship and decide to ignore it.
You hope you will feel deserving of her love. You want to feel you’re enough for her. Then, you think it would be easier if she break-ups the union, but she doesn’t do it. So you give her a solid reason to break up with you by cheating.
If you don’t feel you’re enough, even after your girlfriend says you are. Upgrade yourself. Change an aspect of your life to feel better about yourself.
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#2. Stay Put
There is a tendency to storm out after a fight. Stay out late until the kids are in bed. Spend days off away from home.
Nothing sexy or exciting happens anyway, am I right? You won’t miss much if you’re not at home. So, you rather be on the road, with your friends, or around thrilling strangers.
It’s the norm for sparks to fade. Stick around. Slap her butt when she bends over. Help with the kids or cleaning. Being close creates opportunities for fireworks.
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#3. Start Where You Are Most Comfortable
Most men aren’t comfortable with their feelings. Even when identified, you don’t know how to express them. Start with a fantasy. Cheaters are more likely to try out new positions with their mistress. When you think of infidelity, you have plans for all the sexy scenarios you will try.
Your partner isn’t thinking like you. They might not have an interest in a new position. Start with a slight change, like new briefs, location, or stroke pattern.
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#4. Take Things Slow
Celebrities and online creators give us a crazy inside look at their lives. For example, when Chrissy Teigen announced her first date night after the birth of her son. Celebrities and other famous people can afford nannies. Yet after life changes, they take time to reconnect with their partners.
It will also take time for your relationship to feel as it did. Sometimes, your couple’s style never goes back to the way it was before. Be patient. Give yourself time to adjust to your new normal. You can remember what was, so much. You cannot see opportunities for making your present situation great, too.
Be present in your now. Attempt to make the most of it. When a new routine develops, your old couple’s style could re-appear.
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#5. Seek Help Now
“It just happened.”
“I don’t know why I did it.”
Meanwhile, your friends listen and shake their head. They knew you would do it. Your body language is a giveaway of the thoughts inside your mind. Your friends know you well. They can sense the change you lie to yourself about daily. Talk with them before you go through with cheating. This way, you weigh all the pros and cons and know why you still proceeded with infidelity.
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#6. Stop Talking
Countries are closing in on each other. The desirable woman you never thought you would see again.
She could become your colleague, friend, or a regular at your favorite hangout spot. Your first meeting won’t likely be the last. The chances of you seeing her again are high. Please don’t tell her about your relationship problems.
You don’t know it yet, but she likes you. Now, this woman is confident she has a chance. And she will work down your defenses to create her opportunity to have you.
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#7. Block The Gateway
Singapore has low crime rates. How is this possible? Strict rules against minor offenses make citizens less likely to try significant crimes. If you lie to your partner and get away with it, your intelligent brain thinks it can get away with more.
Soon you are lying because you can. You plan a reason to see someone who could become a potential side piece. Avoid lying to prevent yourself from getting ideas for excuses.
Cheating is never the answer. Consider asking your partner about a temporary separation or divorce.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: iStockPhoto.com
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