If you are called to lead, to serve, and to make a difference in the world you will have to deal with these 8 things. It’s worth it.
—
We admire bold leaders. We even go so far as to adore them. Social media is littered with the quotes that have stood the test of time and are triumphantly repeated as motivation to keep us going. The boldly spoken words of men such as JFK and MLK have been memorialized and ultimately cost them their lives.
If the pen is mightier than the sword, well then the sophistication of the iPhone must be mightier than the smartest of drones.
|
But times have changed. With the convenience of elaborate computer stations boasting dual monitors and lightning speed internet connections, we can run an empire of opinions, keeping the dance going through a never-ending stream of intelligent questions and third level inquiry, all from the safety of our homes. If the pen is mightier than the sword, well then the sophistication of the iPhone must be mightier than the smartest of drones.
Sticking your neck out and taking a position can place you in a social media noose with a lynching of angry followers ready to express their own opinions in contradiction. In the opposite corner, the pervasive erosion of “Group Think” keeps the masses stuck in repetitive cycles of hopeful thinking and ineffectiveness.
So how do any of us define what it means to be bold? In a world that will provide a good and rewarding life by playing in the middle ground of the safe, why would anyone risk and take action of boldness?
Every person must answer that last question for themselves but if you are one of those who feel truly called, the ones who feel compelled to lead, to serve, and communicate the message buried deep inside themselves, you MUST be bold.
In preparation for your emergence, here are 8 things you’ll need to be able to take in stride.
#1 — Isolation
In reality you’ll be in great company, drawing attention to others who are busy in their own boldness, eager to befriend and even collaborate on projects. You’ll be invited into a cool club of others who are looking for validation to continue in their own bold actions and struggling with the exact same thing you are; isolation. If you hold your course, committed to your new way of living, you’ll prevail.
#2 — Projection
Automatically, the ones around you will have their patterns disrupted because your new actions are not in line with the role they have you locked into. This will come to you in the form of others offering you caution. “Be careful, you could get hurt” is the common underlying message. “I don’t want you to be disappointed” and other messages that really have nothing to do with you will be communicated, often with great emotion.
#3 — Fear
Whether it be in little whispers or outright screams, the voices of your ego will surface to promise you a false comfort in throttling back to the land of mediocre. Like never before you’ll be overly concerned about what others are thinking and how you’re perceived. Everything you’ve believed about Reputation will feel like this badly-tailored suit of bullshit that eventually you rip off with machete style swings to begin unfolding the cape that was trapped underneath.
#4 — Worthlessness
Somewhere along the road of domestication, we began to believe stories about ourselves that say we are not of value. Constant questioning if you’re good enough will drive you crazy until eventually, after hundreds or thousands of affirmations, you’ll finally believe that you are amazing and begin acting accordingly.
#5 – Apologizing
Occasionally, you’ll think being bold means falsely asserting yourself in an area that frankly, is none of your business. You’ll live in other people’s lanes, you’ll say inappropriate things and feel like a complete idiot and, you’ll have to apologize and mend some fences. But, if you keep going, you’ll learn to set your own boundaries and become truly bold, even fierce.
#6 — Criticized
If you remain in your truth, you’ll be criticized, called an asshole and (some) people won’t like you. Trust me, this rarely has anything to do with you. You will trigger the insecurities and fears of others and, since many haven’t developed in the area of safe self-expression, anger is their only answer as a fight, flight or freeze response. Anger is a sign of trapped fear and is rarely connected to any error on your part. The only answer is grounded compassion. Be bold!
#7 — Accolades
“The crucible for silver, and the furnace for gold, but people are tested by their praise.” ~Proverbs 27:21
As gold is refined by being heated up, so you too will be tested as your fan base grows and people begin to praise you, especially follow you. Some will adore you so much, they will tell you anything. As creatures of survival, our brains are hard-wired to look for signs that our bodies are safe and our minds are right. To over-tune your ear to praise is like calling Vodka water because it’s clear, you’ll eventually end up drunk and incoherent, i.e., the opposite of bold.
#8 — Self Image
Your truth, your beliefs, your mindset — they are all that matters. Living boldly without compromise to your values requires having a self-image that is grounded, resolved, confident and not propped up by any external circumstances that are subject to the winds and tides and times of change.
Boldness, when appropriately executed, will cause the universe to rush to your aid in unexplainable ways, providing resources and trials that get you to the next level, like playing a game.
|
So many of us, fueled by temporal bursts of motivation, yell our victory cry and raise our flag in bold proclamation to the world of our plans and fall flat on our face only days later. Yes, I’ve done this all too many times. We charge into battle unequipped, with no or little support systems and wonder why we are not victorious.
Boldness, when appropriately executed, will cause the universe to rush to your aid in unexplainable ways, providing resources and trials that get you to the next level, like playing a game. So take stock. Quiet your mind and feel that sense of boldness, the courage, the resolve that is right in the middle of the chest, beating with consistency and connected to a source higher and mightier than you ever experienced or dreamed.
Would you like to help us shatter stereotypes about men?
Receive stories from The Good Men Project, delivered to your inbox daily or weekly.
—
Photo: Pixabay
I love number 5 “Occasionally, you’ll think being bold means falsely asserting yourself in an area that frankly, is none of your business.” I started working on father’s rights back in the 80s when we were told that men had no place raising children. I knew nothing about it beyond the fact that it was not right, that men needed to speak up. I fought a two year battle (myself, another man, and two women) with AOL to establish a men’s board when they WERE social media, and there was no place for men at the table. We were told… Read more »