The love of your life is gone. You’ve been walking around in a daze. You can’t believe it happened. One moment they were there with you, the next they were gone.
Everything reminds you of your lost love — songs you shared, places you two visited, and mutual friends. You miss your partner so much. No one gets the pain you’re going through. You feel like you’ll never get over this.
Yet you will. There are millions of people on the planet- and somewhere your match is waiting for you. First, you have to let go of the one who broke your heart and move on to the life you deserve.
Here are 8 ways to heal your broken heart.
1. Let go of the fantasy you had
When you’re in love with that special person, you have a picture in your mind of what your life together is going to be like. And when the relationship ends, your hopes and dreams for the two of you go end as well.
Now, not only are you suffering the unbearable loss of not hearing the voice you loved each day, or holding them close in your arms, your vision of your life together is gone. And it hurts.
It’s time to do some serious work to end that fantasy. Start by focusing on everything wrong in your relationship.
When we miss someone, many times we remember the good and not the bad. We are romanticizing our partners. They were like an addiction and we feel good remembering times with them. Yet this won’t help us to get over them.
We should remember the bad times — especially when we’re trying to let them go. You’re better off focusing on the things that will help you feel relieved that it’s over.
Research shows reflecting on a relationship helps in emotional recovery. Remember the times you argued, their cold demeanor, and their cheating. Remember all the nights you crumpled yourself into a ball and cried. Realize that you deserve better.
Get all your sadness out through writing, music, or painting.
2. Avoid their pages
When you’re trying to get over someone, the last thing you should do is go on social media and check out your ex’s page. Your ex may have moved on already, and the last thing you want to see is pictures of the person you loved with their new partner having a great time without you.
You should block their number and all their social media pages. Stop yourself from stalking their friend’s pages. If you give in and look, there may be photos of your ex having fun times, hurting you all over again. It’s not worth the sorrow.
3. Avoid places where you may bump into them
Until you are completely healed from your ex and have moved on, it’s a good idea to avoid places you hung out together.
e There are many stores you can shop at, that your ex has never been to. There are lots of new restaurants that don’t frequent. Churches have different services to attend. Don’t torture yourself by going to the same places they’re at.
As time goes on, you will get stronger. And the longer you’re away from them, the better you’ll feel.
4. Contact your friends
This is the time to lean on your friends. Yes, life will go on without your partner. Your friends will remind you of what an awesome person you are, and tell you how they knew all along that your ex was wrong for you.
Spend time with your friends, having good times. As time goes by, you will forget the person that used to sit beside you. There will new people around you, and exciting experiences to come.
5. Help yourself to be your best self
When you’re not in a relationship with someone, it’s an opportune time to work on yourself. Exercise at home or the gym, and take long peaceful walks outside in serene places.
Get a new haircut, cut out cookies, chips, and cake, and start eating right. Clear your home of reminders of your ex, and rearrange the furniture.
You can learn to meditate or take a beginner yoga class. There are mediation and yoga videos on YouTube.
You can get therapy if needed, and work on all the issues you had in the past. When you meet someone new, you’ll be healthy and ready. You’ll feel your best, and it will help attract better things to you.
6. Plan A Getaway
It’s hard to imagine going on a vacation by yourself when you’re heartbroken, but that may be just the thing you need.
This could be the time to let go of your past hurts and fill your life with new and amazing experiences. Once the pandemic clears, you could take a cruise or a trip abroad.
If there’s a pandemic going on, you can discover a secluded shore where you can bask in a warm summer breeze and listen to the gentle waves foaming at the shore.
You can visit a quaint town you always wanted to window-shop at, go on a camping trip, or take an RV across the country.
Go on as many adventures as you like. Do all the things that you always planned to do. No one is holding you back anymore. You’re free.
7. Make major life changes
Now is the time to make positive changes to enrich your life. Put energy into your career. There are no distractions anymore and you can focus on what matters to you.
You can take classes online to further your career aspirations, and complete the degree you started years ago.
This time in your life can be empowering for you.
8. Love yourself as much as you loved them
You may feel inadequate and hurt, and unattractive after the breakup. Don’t believe it.
They left you because they weren’t the right piece to fit your puzzle. Somewhere, there is someone that will fit perfectly with you. You are beautiful and worthy of love.
Treat yourself like you are the loved one. Know in your heart that you are fully deserving of a long and lasting mutual love. Don’t settle for less than that.
And while you are healing, be kind to yourself. Give to yourself. You are lovable — so strong; you won’t be alone for long.
It’s normal to feel overwhelmed
Everyone heals at a different pace. Take your time healing. Some days will be worse than others.
Some people get over someone the second they meet someone new. For others, it takes months, and for others — even years. Sadly, some people never get over the one they loved.
While they were wasting the best years of their lives longing for someone they could never have, the years slipped by. They missed everything.
And while they were pining away, the person they thought was once the love of their life has moved on. They’re getting married to someone else, having a family, and their old romance is the last thing on their mind.
Let time heal your wounds
You feel devastated now, but in time your wound will heal. One day, you’ll wake up and realize you are truly over them — and it will feel great.
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This post was previously published on Medium.
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Photo credit: Arif Riyanto on Unsplash