Are you ready to get back out there in the dating world? It seems like a scary idea nowadays with all of the crazy things you hear on the news. Whether you are dating for the first time or just getting back out there after a relationship, it can be terrifying when you think about it. Some people may tell you that online dating is dangerous while others say it is much safer than going out to a club to meet someone. No matter how you meet your new hottie, it is important to know how to see the signs of a person to stay away from.
What to Watch For
There are typically some red flags early in the dating process that can help you tell if you should turn around and run away. These early relationship red flags are good indicators that the person you are seeing may not be the best choice for you (or anyone else). While some are easy to spot a mile away, others can be so subtle that it takes a super sleuth to see them.
Here are some tips to help you out:
1. Too Much Too Soon
If your new interest tells you they love you before you have even met, delete them fast. While it is nice to be loved, those who get serious too fast are usually one of those who end up not knowing what the meaning of the word love really is. Think of it this way, if they use the word love about everything (I love you, I love your kids, I love your parents), they probably have no clue what the word actually means.
2. On the Rebound
Does your first date seem crowded? If your date talks about their ex, even once, that is a clue that they are not over that person yet. If it is only one time, you may be able to let it slide. But if they mention their ex so often that you have to check and make sure he is not with you on this date, this should be your one and only date.
Rebound relationships are no good for either of you.
3. The Parole Officer
The date seems to be going great and you even have a second or third date. Your date is caring, easygoing, and open about everything. However, if they say they cannot go out the next day because they have a meeting with their parole officer, that is a big red flag. Everyone makes mistakes once in a while, but having a parole officer means that this person was in prison and you do not need that kind of drama in your life.
4. The Stalker
Does it seem like your new love interest pops up all over the place when you least expect it? Do you see him sitting in his car outside your house? Did you run into her at the park? Maybe they even show up at your work. This scary situation is not only a red flag, it is also illegal. Stalkers can be possessive, creepy, and even dangerous.
Get rid of them. And if they won’t go away, report them to the police.
5. Are You My Friend or Lover?
If you are not quite sure whether you are dating, in a real relationship, or are just friends, it may be that your new interest is non-committal to the point of being weird. Are they so afraid to make a commitment that you are not sure whether to introduce them as a friend or a new love? If you have been seeing each other for months and still do not know how they feel about you, it may be time to go.
6. Infidelity King
If you are out to dinner and your date suddenly ducks behind the menu and says, “Oh no, there’s my husband,” get up and leave. No questions asked. Similarly, if they tell you they have cheated on someone in the past, even if it was a long time ago, the red flag is waving. You should probably not get too invested.
7. How Old Are You Again?
Do you feel like you are babysitting when you go out with your new date? Are you constantly having to tell them to “stop doing that” or “knock it off?” If your date is more like a 10-year-old than an adult, be wary. It may seem cute that he is teasing you or telling raunchy jokes in public or when she is giggling like a child and making faces when someone is talking to you. But it will get old quickly.
8. No Family or Friends
One major red flag is that your new love interest does not seem to have any real friends and they do not associate with their family. Maybe they say their family is crazy or that they just don’t get along. That may be a sign that they are not easy to get along with. If their family does not even like them, you may not like them either.
9. The Final Straw
Finally, the biggest red flag of all and the immediate need for getting away is abuse. Any kind of abuse. Even if it is just verbal or emotional abuse like them calling you a name or minor physical roughness like grabbing your arm. These red flags are important to be aware of and pay attention to. Get out of that relationship fast.
If you are in a bad relationship or need to talk to someone about your relationship struggles, contact an online therapist or counselor for help. You can do it from the comfort of your own home and don’t need an appointment. Talk to someone today so you can start feeling better tomorrow.
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