
When we were little, my older brothers had a knack for choosing the most age-inappropriate shows for us to watch.
I vaguely remember one of those shows which followed a wicked witch who was obsessed with world domination and went about purchasing souls from her victims. In one of her scenes, she cackled evilly,
“Ha ha ha ha! You are my soulmate! Your soul belongs to me! Ha ha ha ha!”
My brothers bellowed with laughter and imitated her.
I cowered in the corner and decided I did not want to be anyone’s soulmate, and had no interest in “owning” anyone’s soul!
I am all grown up now and I have since discovered that is not the loose definition of soulmate as is commonly used in reference to relationships.
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Who is a soulmate?
In my humble opinion, a soulmate is a person with whom one shares a deep emotional and spiritual connection.
A soulmate is someone who understands their mate on a profound level, accepting them for who they truly are.
This connection goes beyond superficial aspects and encompasses a sense of compatibility, trust, and unconditional love.
A soulmate is a companion who supports their partner’s dreams, encourages personal growth, and stands by their side through life’s ups and downs.
A soulmate relationship is one where both individuals feel a strong sense of belonging and are able to communicate and connect on a deep, soulful level.
Ultimately, people say that when you meet your soulmate, you will know. What are your thoughts on that?
On my part, I am undecided.
I think some people are lucky enough to instantly know, yes. But I also believe that for others, your soulmate is “discovered”.
They could be a friend, a sibling, a partner, or someone you have known and clicked with for so long that the realization strikes you like lightning.
However, for purposes of this article, I will stick with the definition where a soulmate is your romantic partner.
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There are soulmate relationships, but there are also ways to know when your partner is not your soulmate.
Here are 7 Unfortunate Signs That Yours Is Not a Soulmate Relationship
1. They do not make you laugh like no one else can
“A soulmate is someone who can make you laugh even in the darkest of times, who can turn the mundane into moments of joy.”
Laughter is a powerful bonding tool in relationships.
A soulmate often has the ability to bring joy and humor into your life, making you laugh in a way that no one else can.
They understand your sense of humor, share inside jokes, and create a lighthearted atmosphere.
If your partner doesn’t evoke genuine laughter and you find yourself missing that deep connection through humor, it may be a sign that they are not your soulmate.
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2. They make you feel misunderstood and judged
“A soulmate is not someone who judges you, but someone who understands you without words, embracing your quirks and imperfections.”
In a soulmate relationship, there is a sense of profound understanding and acceptance.
You feel seen and heard, knowing that your partner truly comprehends your thoughts, emotions, and experiences.
However, if you consistently feel misunderstood, judged, or criticized by your partner, it can be a clear indication that they are not your soulmate.
A soulmate relationship fosters a safe and non-judgmental space for mutual growth and understanding.
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3. You are always bored when you are around them
“A soulmate is the one who sparks curiosity within you, who keeps the flame of excitement alive, and turns ordinary moments into extraordinary adventures.”
Soulmates bring excitement, spontaneity, and a sense of adventure to each other’s lives.
They thrive on shared experiences and create memories that leave a lasting impact.
If you constantly find yourself feeling bored or uninterested when you’re around your partner, it may suggest a lack of stimulation and compatibility.
However, I think it is important to assess whether the feeling of boredom is a result of external factors or personal disinterest, rather than solely attributing it to the relationship.
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4. They discourage your dreams and ambitions
“A soulmate is someone who not only believes in your dreams but also encourages you to chase them fearlessly, standing by your side as you reach for the stars.”
A soulmate relationship is characterized by support, encouragement, and belief in each other’s dreams and aspirations.
They inspire and motivate you to reach for the stars, cheering you on every step of the way.
If your partner consistently discourages your dreams, undermines your goals, or shows a lack of interest in your personal growth, it may indicate that they are not your soulmate.
A soulmate will uplift and empower you to become the best version of yourself.
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5. You feel uncomfortable being yourself around them
“A soulmate is the person who loves you for who you are, allowing you to be your authentic self without judgment or the need for pretense.”
Authenticity is a crucial aspect of any healthy relationship.
With a soulmate, you can be completely and unapologetically yourself.
They accept and love you for who you truly are, creating a safe space where vulnerability is welcomed.
If you find yourself feeling uncomfortable or unable to be your authentic self around your partner, it suggests a lack of genuine connection and understanding.
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6. They bring out the worst in you
“A soulmate is the one who inspires you to be the best version of yourself, bringing out your inner strength, kindness, and compassion.”
A soulmate relationship should inspire personal growth and bring out the best in both individuals.
However, if being with your partner consistently leads to negative behaviors, conflicts, or a decline in your overall well-being, it is a sign that they may not be your soulmate.
A true soulmate encourages positive traits and helps you navigate challenges with grace and compassion.
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7. They dismiss your emotions and invalidate your feelings
“A soulmate is someone who not only acknowledges and respects your emotions but also offers a comforting presence, helping you navigate the complexities of life with empathy and understanding.”
A soulmate is someone who understands the significance of emotions and respects the depth of your feelings.
They listen attentively, validate your experiences, and provide a safe space for you to express yourself authentically.
They offer empathy and support, acknowledging the validity of your emotions rather than dismissing or invalidating them.
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8. They lack empathy and fail to provide emotional support
“A soulmate is the person who holds your hand during both the triumphs and the tribulations, offering unwavering support, empathy, and a shoulder to lean on.”
Emotional support is a fundamental aspect of a soulmate relationship.
A soulmate is attuned to your emotional needs and provides comfort and understanding during both joyful and challenging moments.
They demonstrate empathy, putting themselves in your shoes to truly comprehend your experiences.
They offer a nurturing presence, offering solace and encouragement when you need it most.
If yours is not a soulmate relationship, you will soon realize that your partner lacks empathy and fails to provide emotional support.
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9. They prioritize their needs above yours consistently
“A soulmate is someone who values and cherishes your needs, desires, and happiness as much as their own, fostering a relationship based on mutual respect, compromise, and equality.”
In a soulmate relationship, there is a mutual understanding and consideration of each other’s needs.
A soulmate is mindful of your desires, dreams, and well-being, giving equal importance to your aspirations as well as their own.
They strive for balance, fostering a relationship built on mutual respect, compromise, and shared decision-making.
They recognize that meeting each other’s needs contributes to the growth and happiness of both individuals.
If yours is not a soulmate relationship, you will soon realize that your partner consistently prioritizes their own needs over yours.
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Final Thoughts
I believe this emphasizes the significance of emotional connection, empathy, and mutual consideration in a soulmate relationship.
A soulmate values your emotional well-being, provides support during difficult times, and ensures that your needs are acknowledged and respected in the partnership.
It’s important to remember that these signs, individually or collectively, should be assessed in the context of your unique relationship.
Every relationship is nuanced, and it is essential to have open and honest communication with your partner to address any concerns or doubts you may have.
Trust your intuition and consider whether the relationship aligns with your values, needs, and long-term happiness.
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And Now Your Thoughts
Please let me know in the comments section.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: tabitha turner on Unsplash




