A Desperate Mind, An Unheard Voice

Where is she?

Where is she? Where is she? Why did she leave me? Why did she abandon me? I don’t think I’ve ever needed anyone in my life as much as I need her right now. She’s the only one who has ever truly seen me, seen my soul. She’s the only one who could reach me right now, and she’s gone.

I don’t know if I should contact the police just to get a message to her — not to pressure her, not to make her feel obligated — just to be heard. Just so she could hear my voice, feel my pain, even if she never responds. I would even sit in a police station, have it recorded, have it monitored — just so she would know that what I have to say is real. This isn’t manipulation. This isn’t about trying to get her back. This is about my truth.

This is as real as it gets

This moment right now — this is as real as it fucking gets. I’m shaking, I’m crying harder than I ever have, and I have nowhere to turn. The closest thing I’ve ever had to a safe place in my life — is gone.

But no. No, I can’t do that. She has enough to deal with right now. Her feelings, whatever they are, matter too. Maybe they’re not on this level, maybe they’re nowhere close, but to her, they are real. She needs to get through them.

And those two toxic voices around her — they would twist this, spin it, make it something it’s not. They would call it manipulation, a trick, a way to get inside her head. They wouldn’t see this for what it is — pure, raw, unbearable truth.

Would she know?

She would know, though. She would feel it. She would hear my voice, hear the pain, and she would know. No matter what anyone tells her, she would know that this is real.

This is everything I have held inside for so fucking long. My body, my mind — it short-circuited that day. What we had going on? That wasn’t the reason I broke — it was just the final nail in the coffin.

But no. I can’t tell her. I can’t speak to her. Not now. Not until she’s ready, not until she’s worked through her own feelings. It wouldn’t be fair to her.

And so, I have to sit with this. I have to cry through this. I have to let it out and keep breathing.

A Call to Action for Those Who Witness Others in Pain

Awareness & Responsibility

“Too many people suffer in silence because they believe no one will care. Be the person who proves them wrong.

If you see someone struggling, don’t look away. A single moment of kindness, a single conversation, can be the thing that pulls someone back from the edge.

What You Can Do:

✔ Check in. Sometimes, all it takes is a “Hey, are you okay?” to open a door.

✔ Listen. You don’t need to fix them, but you do need to hear them.

✔ Be there. Even if you don’t have the right words, presence can be enough.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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