May 10, 1999
I want to start this paper by letting everyone know nothing is more exciting than writing a three hundred and fifty-word essay. I can’t imagine doing anything more useful for a mind-splitting headache than writing a paper for English class.
My favorite thing about people, guys, especially, is how they play little mind games with me. It is positively stimulating never to know what people will do or never knowing how they feel.
Having an unpredictable relationship like that, to the point where I can’t tell a dream from reality, is such great joy for me. Never knowing the truth about how someone feels about me or where exactly our relationship stands are what I call living on the edge.
There is no doubt that I’m talking from personal experience. This someone does exist in my life. Let’s call this someone Mike. I get so much joy out of Mike’s mood swings and how one day he is so great to me, and the next day we are total strangers.
I get so much pleasure out of only sometimes knowing who he is! Mike and I will spend our Saturdays together but only when he can fit it/me into his busy schedule, and I especially love it when he has better things to do and would rather be somewhere else than with me. One of the best things has to be only on rare occasions does Mike call me, and I get more joy out of this than you will ever know!
My other favorite thing is how Mike and I will get so close, have such deep conversations, and share such deep stuff that no one else knows on the weekends and then during the week, he will act like nothing ever happened!
I think it would only be right to conclude this paper by telling everyone the most delightful and adorable thing that Mike does; he will treat me like a princess, kiss my hand like royalty, and make me feel like I am so incredibly special to him.
Then I turn the corner, and he is doing the same thing to some other girl.
Addendum: This is one of the most random things I’ve ever posted on here. Get used to it guys — I am letting loose at thirty-eight! This is a paper I wrote when I was a Senior in High School. I cringed when I read it (and again when I typed it out). Rediscovering this paper leads me to believe two things: 1.) my writing has improved a little, and 2.) I’ve settled for less than I should have in my relationships.
No more.
©2020 Divina Grey
Divina Grey is a ferocious woman and mother rebuilding her life one article at a time. She likes long walks on the beach, singing and playing her guitar, an electrifying workout, and a cup of coffee so decadent she can feel the frothiness in her bones. Over the last twenty-five years, Divina has stockpiled a collection of used journals in an elegant wooden chest and is oozing with gratitude for the chance to share her staggering long-time love of writing with the world.
—
Previously published on medium
***
If you believe in the work we are doing here at The Good Men Project and want a deeper connection with our community, please join us as a Premium Member today.
Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS. Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
—
Photo credit: on Shutterstock