Men, dear men!
I know the society’s conditioned you guys to believe that you’re ‘manly’ only if you’re brave, and tough, and strong, and responsible, and emotionless (read: heartless).
But it’s only human to feel depressed, and upset, and misunderstood.
But should it stop you in your tracks? No.
Does it make you less of a man? No.
It’s okay to ask for what you want.
All of us have expectations, and you guys are no exception.
It’s okay to admit your desires (be it physical/ emotional/ mental) and expect them to be fulfilled.
A very popular notion says that all men want is s*x, but I know men who want a deep, genuine connection as well. Men, it is your responsibility to voice out your emotional needs, so they don’t go unnoticed and unmet.
It’s okay to lower your guard.
The tough, bicep guy knows it all — the charm, the glamour, the s*x appeal, and yet deep inside, he feels not heard enough and misunderstood. Why? Because he doesn’t show his vulnerabilities and flaws. Darling, it’s okay to lower your guard, and let somebody inside the fort that you’ve built around yourself. You can be yourself — the most vulnerable, unfiltered version — unapologetically, around your people.
It’s okay to let this mask of bravado slip for a while.
The strength, the ‘I’m-not-sorry’ attitude — all can take a backseat sometimes. You deserve all the pampering you gift your baes.
It’s okay to fear losing what you love, and even more okay to voice out those fears.
We fear losing what we love — be it situations, opportunities or people. And that has nothing to do with being a man or a woman. It’s very much normal to fear losing the people you love, and trust me, they’ll love and nurture you even more when you express your fears.
It’s okay to feel vulnerable sometimes, and crack a creak to let the steam out.
Your flaws, insecurities, fears, and anxieties — all make you lively, and human. The pent up frustration, the unsaid feelings, the unexpressed emotions — all bore a hole in your heart. Open up, talk, feel, express, say whatever comes to your mind — just let it all out.
It’s okay to elaborate and explain, such as its understandable.
Ahh, my fav dialogue! Please talk clearly, and elaborate wherever needed. ‘A man of few words’ is almost always a man with nobody standing close to him. Why? Because he never elaborated on what he wanted.
It’s okay to feel weak and cry, and not snap at the people around.
Lost your job? Broke up with your girlfriend? Fought with your best friend? Fine. Happens. To all of us. You can feel left out, unloved, misunderstood. But, snapping at the people around just because you can’t be ‘weak’, can’t cry — not done. Find a safe space, express, cry — do all of it that you’ve always wanted to, but never did.
It’s okay, to ‘talk’ it out.
You can’t expect people to read you in and out. But you definitely don’t want to miss out on the fulfilment of being understood and feeling loved. So, talk — your heart, the way you like it, the way you know it, the way you want it.
Trust me, the most genuine and masculine men I’ve ever met — are the softest and gentlest in their approach towards life, as well as women.
If you want to witness and experience the softness and feminism in a woman, be the most caring, soft and gentle man she’s ever seen.
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Previously Published on Medium
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