Today, I write to you anonymously as someone who has had their heart broken far too many times. Before you click back, it is important to mention, I am now with the love of my life.
If you are reading this I am assuming you have recently had your heart broken or had to break someone else’s heart which broke yours.
Things will get better, don’t worry.
Before I go through a few things that you can do to help you get over your heartbreak, I want to first go over a philosophy.
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The balance of life
In order to have love, there must also be hate.
In order to have pleasure, there must also be pain.
One does not exist without the other.
Life works in a mysterious, but obvious way (once you begin to notice). Things go back and forth between good and bad. When things get too good, it starts to go the other way, and vice versa.
This is why it’s important to prepare!
NO! I’m not saying prepare for a zombie apocalypse.
I’m saying prepare yourself to be the best version of yourself.
Prepare yourself to be a strong individual who not only is comfortable with themselves but also knows themselves very well! (More on that another time)
Now that we got that out of the way…
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Here are 5 ways to get over a heartbreak!
Create a routine
If you are like most individuals who just went through a breakup, your old routine likely involved your ex.
It became difficult to adapt if you relied on your ex for anything. That’s why the first thing you want to do is look at how your daily and weekly life looks and adjust accordingly.
Go over these:
- Did you get a ride to work from your ex? You’re going to need to carpool or get a bus pass.
- Was your ex your gym partner? Find a new one, do new workouts by yourself, or get a personal trainer to go with.
- Did you two watch the same show every day when you came home from work? Replace your ex with some friends and watch a show with them.
This train of thought could of course apply to many things.
The moral of the story is you’re going to have to create a new routine that you can follow and end the “I used to do this with my ex” line before you have the chance to say it.
Here’s a look at my daily routine in order:
- Wake up and meditate immediately
- Journal writing down what I want to accomplish today
- Workout
- Cold shower
- Go to work
- Come home and prepare dinner while listening to a podcast or music
- Do some reading or catch up on work
- Socialize or watch a show
- Sleep
Of course, this will change depending on the day and I did not include eating in there, but you get the idea!
Watch your diet!
This one can be hard for some people. You probably want to dig into comfort food. I know, it’s tempting, but don’t. You are what you eat and if what you eat is sad, it’ll make you sad.
What do I mean by that?
Don’t eat food that you know is bad for you. It can affect your mood, your sleep, your energy, and your brain. Most of all, if you are someone who gets upset when you gain weight, gaining weight will not help your mood.
Here’s what I recommend that should be easy enough to maintain:
- Eat at the same time every day
- Don’t eat until you are grossly full
- Don’t overload your sugars or carbs
- Don’t eat within 2 hours of sleeping
Workout!
Aside from the satisfaction of building that revenge body, working out increases levels of serotonin and dopamine.
You’ll get more energy, you’ll look and feel great and you’ll have another activity to fill up your schedule that used to be spent with your ex!
As I stated earlier, if you worked out with your ex before, get a friend to go with you instead, or get a personal trainer.
Another fun way to get a workout in is to join a group sport! Join a coed soccer, dodgeball, or volleyball team with some friends. You can even join one where you don’t know anyone and meet some new people!
I highly recommend this.
If you have never worked out or never played a spot, that’s okay too! It’s not difficult to start.
The majority of gyms will have training programs to help you learn what to do. You can also look at online programs such as p90x or Beach Body!
Socialize
It’s easy to get in your head and be hard on yourself if you are sitting there during the hours you used to spend with your ex.
Go out and socialize! It’s time to take advantage of your newfound freedom.
Hang out with friends you haven’t had the time to see as much recently. Meet new people and be spontaneous. Go on a new adventure!
Something I highly recommend is going on a trip and staying in a hostel! This is incredibly safe nowadays as you can book hostels and see reviews on them to pick one that suits you. Staying in a hostel is an amazing way to meet new, interesting people from around the world.
You can also sign up for meetup.com and meet some amazing people who have the same interests as you! You can do this locally or on your travels.
Either way, it’s an incredible way to meet new people and socialize!
Work on yourself & learn about yourself
This might be the most important one but is the hardest one. That’s why I left it for last.
Working on yourself can be hard when you are fresh out of a relationship and hurting. That’s because you’re going to be forced to spend time alone. The bright side is, this will make you stronger than ever.
Here are a few suggestions on how you can work on yourself & learn about yourself:
- Meditate, a lot
- See #2 & #3
- Read (all genres!)
- Take new courses online
- Learn new skills (writing, public speaking, stand-up comedy, cooking)
- Pick up new hobbies (instruments, board games, video games, painting, etc)
The list goes on and on.
Honestly, I might write a whole blog post about hobbies alone because that is an amazing way to occupy your time, and improve your mind!
For more on self-love, read this.
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Conclusion
These are the 5 best ways I have found to get over a heartbreak. However, there’s one missing and it’s fairly obvious…
Time.
You’re going to need time to get over your heartbreak and unfortunately, there’s no way around that.
The best thing to do is to focus on the 5 areas and it’ll help that time go by and you’ll be back feeling amazing again before you know it.
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P.S.
It’s important to know that you are amazing.
It’s usually the case that relationships don’t work out simply because compatibility is not there.
It wasn’t because you’re a bad person, or the other (some exceptions, I know).
What’s most important is to remember that you deserve to be happy. Not because you did anything special, not because you’re unique, but because you’re not.
Humans are all born the same. Individual, innocent, beautiful babies. We were all born with the fundamental right to be happy.
Try not to be too hard on yourself, try not to send a text you will regret, and try not to go on the rebound!
You’re going to be okay.
We wish you the best and remember
We love you.
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For more relationship tips, challenges, and additional content, subscribe to The Love Letters, our free weekly newsletter.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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Photo credit: Yingchou Han on Unsplash
