I was at a wedding last week with lots of beautiful women. Some were single, and some came with their boyfriends. The hottest women weren’t with the hottest-looking guys or the most confident, loud, alpha, etc.
Their boyfriends wore “regular” blue jeans and a button shirt and kept to themselves. I even bumped into one of them at the bar. He was a nice guy. You could tell he’s one of the “good guys”.
There was nothing extraordinary about these men. Yet their girlfriends looked on a whole different level.
Brainwashed by society
Until high school, I thought the most beautiful girls would always prefer the stud. A handsome guy with great hair and a fit body. The one with the blue eyes. The kinda guy you see in teenage movies.
Then my reality started to crack.
I saw hot girls with odd-looking guys. Strange-looking, guys. Men with outdated sense of fashion, if any. Men who needed to see the barber quickly.
“What the hell is going on?”
Society teaches us money and looks get you the hot date. And in a way, they do. But having those things does not guarantee success for women. You can look fit, fresh, have a good job or run your own business, be well-spoken, and still not get the girl.
That’s just the way things are. Reality is too dynamic and unexpected to be bound by rules.
When I realized this, pennies started to drop.
Social conditioning and Game conditioning from “PiKUp artists” all fell apart. They were half-lies mixed with half-truths, at best.
Your attitude, confidence, and approach to life
I was half drunk at the bar in Tel Aviv when some girl I talked to blew my mind. This was during Covid era, and a cold beer with friends was enough to make me happy.
“So, do you want my number? My Instagram?”
“Ha?” I couldn’t believe this. “What did she just say?”
This girl was a tall blonde, and I didn’t need to ask her number. She just gave it to me. Then a couple of months later, it happened again with a different girl.
It’s almost like the happier I was, the more self-love I felt, the easier time I had with women.
When you’re happy, everybody wants a piece of that happiness.
In the past ten years, I met all sorts of men. The ones who “made it” with women were guys who had a life. And were happy about their lives. Guys who had good intentions for the people around them.
They weren’t caught up with the latest pickup technique. They worked hard and played hard.
When the weekend came, all they were doing at the bar was sharing their lives with the girls they met.
They shared their good vibe. The laughs and humour. The sense of comfort and calmness around them. And they kicked ass.
Comfort is magic with women
When a guy feels good about himself, women feel good about him too. He doesn’t need to prove anything to anyone.
His good intentions, mixed with his “normality” and his confidence, make him appealing. Relatable. Someone you can spend time with and act freely around without being judged.
Girls I go out with sometimes tell me, “I feel comfortable around you”. I hear it a lot. And that is when things work best. Things flow. We go out for drinks, have sex, go to the beach, all the good stuff.
That’s because women spend time with guys they feel comfortable with, first of all. The whole attraction thing comes later when she’s warmed up to you.
Self-love wins every time
I have a friend who does the bare minimum to get by, We always talk about his “career”. He knows he should stop playing around and find another job than doing deliveries at age 31.
But one thing is for sure. He kicks ass with women and gets laid like crazy. That’s because he’s happy most of the time.
He likes to go out and dance. Or drink beer with the guys. He loves himself, and it shows.
I do believe you should do more than the bare minimum in life. Prosperity in all areas.
But if I had to choose only one thing to be “successful” in, that would be self-love. No amount of money can make up for that. No level of hotness will help you if you’re sad.
Self-love is the cornerstone for a happy, healthy life. It shapes your attitude towards life. It affects how you view yourself. It determines how you’ll treat yourself and the people around you.
It is the seed of everything you can ever ask for, packaged in one little product.
Conclusion: you’re enough
You don’t have to look like Brad Pitt or rich Like Elon Musk to get quality women. Normal guys like you and I go out with great women all the time.
The only difference is, “regular” guys who make it with women realize they’re enough. They have a steady job. They take care of themselves and look fresh. They have good intentions and want the best for their partner.
And it shows. It attracts the right kind of women.
Even if your life isn’t ideal right now, you can aspire for more. And that would be enough, to begin with. Even if everything sucks and nothing works, there’s still a chance. I know it because I’ve been there.
Slowly, you feel better as you work through your issues. Then one day, you realize, “You know what, I’m good enough. I’m even more than good enough”.
And that’s when miracles start to happen.
Get my free ebook “Life Lessons From Getting Rejected by Hundreds Of Women.”
—
This post was previously published on medium.com.
***
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS. Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
Compliments Men Want to Hear More Often | Relationships Aren’t Easy, But They’re Worth It | The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex | ..A Man’s Kiss Tells You Everything |
—–
Photo credit: Cody Black on Unsplash