Afraid You’ll Never Find Love? You Need to Hear This

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Transcript provided by YouTube. Slightly edited with AI. 

A Massive Thank You

Before we start today, I want to express a giant thank you to everyone who got a copy of *Love Life*. You are responsible for helping us reach the New York Times bestseller list this week, coming in at number three. This is an extraordinary feat, and I am incredibly grateful to all of you who have supported this project. Many of you ordered months in advance of the book’s release, and countless others ordered during its launch week.

This project has been four and a half years of my life, and we aimed for the New York Times list to raise the book’s profile so we could reach more people. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for making this happen. This has been a crazy week for me and my team. We’ve been giddy all week with this wonderful news, and I’m excited to share it with those of you hearing it for the first time. This is our win together, and you have helped me reach a wider audience with this book.

Meet Angela

In the book, I share a story about a dear friend named Angela. Many of you have read her inspiring story, but you might not have had the chance to meet her through video. So, I wanted to do something special today.

Angela was on stage at my live retreat in Florida, making the audience both laugh and cry in equal measure—myself included. Her story is one of hope, resilience, and the ability to overcome difficult circumstances while finding love. I cannot wait for you to see this. I present to you my dear friend, Angela.

“My Self-Worth Was on the Ground”

There was this one person in the program who called me a couple of months back. She had gone through some things since her participation in that program, and when she made that call, I felt compelled to say, “You need to come back.” I wanted her to share what she had accomplished since then because it was remarkable.

So, she came back this time, and I’m going to bring her up here. We’re just going to spend five minutes talking about what she has done since. Her story is quite interesting and relevant to all of us.

Angie, where are you? Oh, there she is!

Okay, give it up for Angela!

How are you doing? Wow, it’s been ten years or eight years since we first met. Has it really been that long? And I can’t believe you haven’t aged a bit!

You came on the program, and I remember there was a big event in your life. Could you fill everyone in on that? I think it gives us context for everything that will follow.

I was 23 years old, making my way home from work. Life was great; I had friends and a job I loved. Then, in a moment, everything changed. I was hit by a drunk and drugged driver. He collided with me at 70 miles per hour, and I became injured for life. The moment my leg was taken from the impact of the vehicle, the driver stood over me and walked away.

This is what ultimately led me to Matthew. After being in the hospital and being told I would never walk again or live independently, I defied those odds. I made sure that when I left the hospital, I would walk again, even if it was with crutches. But at that time, my self-worth was on the ground.

I had nothing around me to show me how to rebuild it, so I turned to YouTube. I watched one of Matthew’s earlier videos filmed in Berkeley Square. I remember sitting on a bench with an old Sony cam, discussing core confidence.

I knew what confidence was supposed to be; you read about it in magazines or hear friends saying to just be more confident. But I understood my confidence was at rock bottom. The thought that haunted me was, “How am I worthy if someone could walk away and leave me?”

I clicked on the video, watched it, and wrote down every word about what confidence is and the levels of confidence. I began applying what I learned.

“And What . . . ?”

So, this brings us to the retreat. I remember a specific moment there; we had a little mini-movie room. Angela pulled me aside and said she wanted to chat, so we went into the movie room one-on-one.

You mentioned that during a date, a constant monologue in your mind was, “He’s not going to want me because I’m missing a limb.” What happened next?

We sat in silence, and he said, “I’m going to sit here until you tell me what it is.” I crossed my arms in defiance. I felt so sad about what I had to share; I just couldn’t say what was on my mind. He insisted we would sit there all day if needed.

Finally, I blurted it out, and his response was, “In what?” Those simple words made me realize I had built up this huge picture in my mind of what I was carrying. I remember feeling slightly arrogant thinking he had to want me in the same way I wanted him.

We ended up laughing after that moment, and you said that it was indeed arrogant to think everyone had to fall in love with me.

The Phone Call

I remember that moment because of the phone call you gave me a few months ago. Can you share what you told me?

Sure, Angela. We shared a moment in the kitchen where I fell, and this was my first time exposing my scars to everyone.

Thank you, everyone. My mom has always given me the confidence to step out into the world. When I went to Florida, I wore long dresses and cardigans to cover my arm, thinking I was making a fashion statement. Looking back, I realize I was just hiding my insecurities.

One morning in Florida, I fell, and my skirt flew up. I was worried if my pants would show, but more than that, I was concerned about exposing my leg. You know that insecurity that holds you back? Since I started talking about it, everything changed. It took me ten years to deal with my feelings.

But then I thought, “Let’s do it all.” As I embraced everything, my life opened up.

The phone call I shared was about a guy I met. On our second date, I was worried about telling him what had happened and showing my scars. I finally did, and he responded similarly to what you had said. At that moment, I knew he was the one for me.

A few months later, we vacationed in St. Andrews, Scotland, where he booked the honeymoon suite for me. That was such a surprise because no one had ever treated me that way before.

The nerves were palpable when we went to dinner, and he was so nervous that he accidentally flung food onto someone else. But he was charming, and that made it all the better.

Then, one night under the stars, he told me to close my eyes because he had a surprise for me. I was nervous and imagined the worst. Walking on the sand with a prosthetic leg was a challenge, but I managed.

When I opened my eyes, he proposed! Six months later, we were married.

 “What Was Holding Me Back”

I have two more things to share if you’ll allow me to take your time. I’ve been so excited to tell you all this throughout the week.

One of the hardest things about my accident was being told I may never have a child. You can’t imagine how devastating it is to have that taken away from you.

During Christmas, I had to go back into the hospital for another operation. It was very difficult and life-changing.

I recently had a beautiful baby girl named Hannah, and that has been a joy in my life. She is a wonder, and I can’t believe I carried her.

I want to share that if you’re considering coming to the retreat or wondering if it can help you, understand that it works. I’ve come from Scotland, two flights away, to share my journey. My scars and experiences may differ from yours, but I assure you that I’m just like you.

I see the beauty and possibility of life through the experiences I’ve had, and I now have tools to cope with challenges that arise. I want to teach Hannah everything I’ve learned about self-esteem and confidence.

Thank You

Thank you for listening. Thank you, Pauline, and thank you, everyone here. Matthew, thank you for being you.

Angela didn’t need to come here this week, but she did it for all of us. Can we give her a huge round of applause?

Don’t Miss the Live Retreat

I hope you enjoyed that story. Hearing stories like Angela’s helps us feel less alone. They remind us that our circumstances don’t have to define us.

Angela chose not to let her challenges dictate her life. If she had, she might never have opened herself up to love or taken risks, allowing herself to believe in a brighter future.

If you resonated with Angela and want to know more about her journey, she has a website called The Reinvention Do Online, where you can hire her as a speaker or engage her services for your organization or group.

For anyone interested in attending my retreat, we are holding it again from September 9th to 15th. I hope to see you there.

Leave me a comment to let me know what you thought of this video, and I’ll see you in the next one.

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This post was previously published on YouTube.

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