After this Lifetime, Don’t be Hard on Yourself, and Don’t Waste Time

I saw a comment from a listener backstage, she said: Recently, I feel a bit lost. I feel like a ship that has been wandering in the vast sea for a long time. The sea is filled with thick fog. I don’t know where the end is, and I don’t know where I should go. I really want to know when I can penetrate this thick fog and see my own sunshine. Are you also confused at this moment, unable to see the way forward, unable to find the direction of the future? But the sea has an end, and life is not always full of pressure. When you’re lost, take a look at these three sentences. May you follow the direction of the light, break through the fog, and embrace hope.”

01. Calm down, stay grounded, and live in the present moment.

Have you heard this story before? There was a father who accidentally lost his mechanical watch. He complained while rummaging through everything to find it, but couldn’t locate it even after searching for a long time. After the father left, his son quietly came into the house and found the watch in no time. When the father asked him how he found it, the son replied, “I just sat quietly and listened to the ticking sound, and that’s how I found the watch.”

In fact, many times, the more anxious we are to obtain something, the less likely we are to achieve it. Only by being calm can we hear the voice inside us. In life, are you also like this? When you’re studying, do you rush to catch up with the learning progress, do lots of exercises, and read many books, but still cannot achieve excellent results? When you’re in love, do you rush to get a result, and wish to give everything you have to your partner, but still cannot win their genuine heart? When you’re working, do you rush to get a promotion and a raise, pour all your energy into work, but never think about how to create the greatest benefit for the company? Then we fall into deep confusion and keep asking ourselves: “Why have I worked so hard but still cannot get what I want in the end?”

Actually, everything has a trace. You rush to catch up with the learning progress, do lots of exercises, and read many books, but never take a moment to analyze your weaknesses. You waste time and do a lot of useless work. You rush to get a result in love, and give everything you have but never take a moment to talk to your partner and find out what they truly want. You rush to get a promotion and a raise, and take on a lot of heavy work but never take a moment to think about how to create the greatest benefit for the company. In the end, you not only make no progress but also mess up your life.

I really like this sentence: “The world is noisy. If your heart is not calm and your emotions are unstable, how can you have a peaceful life?” The more anxious your heart is, the more likely you are to make mistakes. Only when your heart is calm can you do better? Life is a practice of the heart. If your heart is not calm, your thoughts will be disordered, and your mind will be confused. Let your heart calm down, stay grounded, and be calm and composed so that you can clear away the clouds and find your way out.

02. Relax, think less, and do more.

Have you heard this fable before:
A fox saw a lion and went up to greet it. However, the lion was lost in thought and didn’t hear the fox’s greeting, ignoring it. The fox then worried, “Why isn’t the lion acknowledging me? Did I offend it in some way?” The fox pondered and thought but couldn’t figure out what it did wrong. As it got lost in thought, it accidentally fell into a trap by the side of the road. Instead of thinking about how to escape, the fox started to overthink again, “It must be that I offended the lion, and it designed this trap. Even if I escape, it will eventually catch and eat me.” Thinking this way, the fox became hopeless and gave up on saving itself.

Sometimes, a person doesn’t live well, not because of environmental constraints, but because of thinking too much and doing too little. Just like the fox in the story, it had a chance to survive, but because it overthought, it put itself in a difficult situation. In real life, many people are like this sensitive fox, always overthinking. A passing glance, a word, or an action from someone else can make them restless and unable to sleep at night. They suspect others are speaking ill of them when they whisper, suspect that others are fed up with them when they don’t reply to messages on time, and even doubt themselves for a long time because of someone else’s unintentional actions. Many times, lying in bed doing nothing, they feel tired and have countless moments of self-doubt. Being overly sensitive can be really tiring.

Most of the time, we feel exhausted because we think too much when there is nothing to worry about. There is a saying: “Don’t think too much. Laugh when you’re happy, sleep when you’re tired, and be carefree to double your happiness.” The heart is not that big, and once we fill it with too much, it naturally cannot bear it. By relaxing our minds, thinking less, doing more, and being calm, we can live without fatigue. Happiness is simple. Don’t overthink, don’t be petty, and learn to be content with whatever comes our way. Everything will get better and better.

03. Stay calm, reflect on your inner self, and be yourself

Have you heard this story? There is a type of bird called a Hill Myna that is born in the south. People in the south catch them in nets and teach them to speak the human language. After a while, Hill Myna can imitate human speech, but can only do so for a few sentences before stopping. All day long, it only repeats those few sentences. One day, a cicada chirped on a tree in the yard, and Hill Myna laughed at it. The cicada said to Hill Myna, “It’s good that you can speak like a human, but none of what you say is what you really want to say. It’s better to do what I do, and call out whatever you want according to your own feelings.” Hill Myna felt ashamed and never imitated human speech again, even until its death. In the story, Hill Myna was proud of being able to imitate human speech and ridiculed the cicada’s common chirp. However, it had lost its true self, as its voice was meant to express its own emotions. Blindly imitating others only leads to losing oneself. Each person is an independent individual with their own personality and characteristics. Intentionally imitating others, only pursuing external effects, will only lead to superficial results, like the Hill Myna, ultimately losing itself.

Someone once said, “The best way to live is to say what you want to say, do what you want to do, meet the people you want to meet and follow the call of your heart to live your life.” I deeply agree with this. Many people are unhappy, not because their current life is bad or because they made the wrong choices. It’s because they have done too many things that they didn’t want to do, unwillingly, and against their true selves. They are influenced by the external environment and the opinions of others, to the point of self-doubt, not knowing how to persist. However, life is one’s own responsibility. Only when a person truly accepts themselves and becomes their authentic self, can they be accountable for their own lives? In the remaining years of your life, I hope you can stay calm, reflect on your inner self, and be the most authentic version of yourself.

Conclusion

I have seen such a passage:
Only when a person’s heart is calm can they have the power to control their own life. In the rest of your life, I hope you can: calm down, step by step, live in the present; relax your mind, think less, do more; hold your breath, reflect deeply, and be yourself again. Be firm and less confused, don’t make things difficult for yourself, and don’t let time go to waste.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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