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Q: Allana, online dating isn’t working, people setting me up isn’t working, at this point I fear I am going to die alone. What am I doing wrong or what at least what should I try next?
To see my full response, check out the full video below. You can also find this video and many others on YouTube, so please be sure to subscribe to my channel.
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Transcript provided by YouTube:
My wonderful friends at the Good Men
Project Allana Pratt here your intimacy
expert I am so grateful that I’ve
created such a place of like a sanctuary
and safety for you that you can be so
real and vulnerable with me friggin love
you okay this one says Allana online
dating isn’t working people setting me
up isn’t working at this point I fear
I’m going to die alone what am I doing
wrong or what at least should I try next
oh you have the courage to say what
forget most people are feeling so I
first I just honor your courage to speak
the truth and to show up and talk to me
so thank you hmm such a privilege to be
able to be so real with you
my mother had she was an English teacher
never swore you know dressed great but
when life would piss her off
she would say shit fuck god damned
bugger bugger damn and my sister and I
would be like oh she’s for the world’s
coming to an end but she’d get it out a
couple times.
Then she’d be fine and it was her
way I think of processing and navigating
intense emotions and coming back to the
prison so um I I would say a couple
rounds of that it would be a good start
because you know hmm that this isn’t
working and this isn’t working and this
isn’t working and you’re like alright so
generally what I find if this is like a
challenge in front of me um I know it’s
for me not against me I know the
universe is on my side I know this is
here for my soul’s evolution because if
it’s not let’s just get off now like why
even play right.
I don’t even anyways that’s just my
point of view so here it is and you’d be
going boom boom boom and knocking your
head against and it’s not moving so so I
would take a step back kind of get more
of like a hawk like an eagle like a moon
like a bird’s-eye view and go okay
what’s going on here what’s going on
here that I can’t see when it might up
my perspective is so myopic like this
like come back right and have a look and
what so what are you doing wrong nothing
nothing you’re not wrong what you’re
doing is not wrong you’re showing up and
you’re doing your best mmm bottom line
okay next from this greater perspective
you’re gonna see
something you might not want to let go
the past in some way you might not want
to forgive yourself in some way or
forgive another in some way you might
not want to develop this next level of
heart openness required for deep
intimacy something will be
there that you don’t have to deal
with when you’re just like date
date rate boat if you look back you be
like oh there it is
I’m pretty clear you’re brilliant so
you’ll see it now what do you do about
it when you find it you choose a partner
someone like me I would love to be your
partner and it could be through reading
one of my books are one of my home
curriculums it could be through private
one-on-one coaching it could be spending
entire two days with me whatever works
for your time energy budget you choose
and you do the work I like to remind
myself and my clients that life isn’t
this linear like path like this it’s a
circle right it’s layers probably
multiple dimensions of all of this and
so if you imagine like a DNA spiral it
goes around and around but it keeps
going up right so you’re just you’re
growing you’re just going around the
dark side my friend and when you come
around the front again Oh a new
possibility a new reality but you gotta
be willing to do the work and the song
and doing the work is not wrong you’re
not bad it’s it’s a sign of great
bravery and courage and self-love to
love yourself that much to give yourself
what you require for what’s next
for me I’m living if you could just see
the view right now and you’d just be
like ha it’s so breathtaking but the
first part about getting here was crying
my face off for an entire month I didn’t
close one new client i sat on the couch
and I cried looking at this beautiful
view just blasting my heart open with
beauties I would just cry my face off
for things that were going on with my my
personal life with my son I did it for a
month that’s what I needed to do I
wasn’t weak I wasn’t bad I wasn’t broken
it was just what was required because if
I just pretended everything was fine I
put sprinkles on top of the ice cream
cone of shit it would have been fake and
authentic it would have exhausted me and
ultimately I would have cried it crashed
at some point right so when we get the
the invitation
take it okay the invitation is this
isn’t working
pull back do your inner work please
contact me you could go to Alana Pratt
comm forward-slash connect if working
privately is what resonates with you or
go if you don’t know if you’re a man or
a woman but a ladder Pratt comm for the
ladies and get her to say yes for the
men and there’s so many different
products there just start to let me love
you and let the energy start to heal you
and open you I’m all about hearts blade
wide open but before we get there we
take it slow we take it slow and there’s
so much healing work to do so much
release of anger so much forgiveness and
so much awakening of our delicious
sacred sexual creative lifeforce energy
that feels so confident from the inside
out these are these are like the process
is the the journey I take people through
so you can walk through life with your
heart open takes courage but it’s the
only way you can be met deeply by love
so I hope that helps thank you so much
for your question
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This post was previously published on Allana Pratt.com and is republished here with permission from the author, also republished on Medium.
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