An Alternative to the 'Man Box'

We need to be in a ‘man pan’ instead of a ‘man-box’.

A place where our uniqueness can be appreciated as part of the hu-man stew.

The idea of a ‘man box’ as a trap in which some men get caught when they try to act how they think a ‘real man’ should rather than being true to their authentic selves, has gained a lot traction in recent years.

In reality, most of us have to fit in a few different boxes in our lives, depending on the situation – like staying in the’ job box’ for some of the time if you don’t want to get fired. And I think one possible reason for the popularity of alcohol in our culture is that it helps to dissolve our boxes, at least for a time, so that we feel freer to be our true selves.

On a personal level, I try not to get stuck in a rigid ‘Steve box’ which would limit who I am or what I think I’m capable of doing. And I think many men are realising that it’s better to measure their strength – a quality most men want to identify with – in terms of their integrity and kindness, rather than the toxic version of maleness offered by manosphere influencers whose superficially reassuring but ultimately unsatisfying answer to the perennial male question: “Am I man?” is largely based on the ability to accumulate possessions and bully women

Let’ recognise and celebrate the different ways in which men can express their masculinity, so that their manliness is equated with their ability to live in a way that’s true to their beliefs and values rather than fitting into any kind of predetermined box.

Then we can think about living in a shared ‘’man pan”, where many flavours combine to create a human stew in which everyone is respected and appreciated in spite of, and because of, their differences.

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This Post is republished on Medium.

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