He thought she was electric. She thought he was a pompous ass. What’s your story?
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Guys, do you secretly enjoy love stories? Do you get misty-eyed and squeeze your lover’s hand when watching Sleepless in Seattle or other such romantic comedies? It’s O.K. In this new age where the definition of masculinity is expanding, the sensitive man is possible. Just don’t collapse bawling on the floor, society is not ready for that yet.
I think we should celebrate the anniversary of when we first met our partner. It is a time to reflect and appreciate the set of circumstances that brought you together. How you met, the feelings evoked, and the trajectory of the relationship in those initial stages are all worth reminiscing about and appreciating. And, if you have been together for some time, thinking about those early days will definitely bring a smile to your face and heart.
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My partner and I recently celebrated sixteen years together and the story of how we met still makes me shake my head in wonder at how the universe can conspire to bring two people together even after keeping them apart for so many years. Let me explain.
My wife and I had the same circle of friends, yet we hardly ever came in contact with each other. The first time I met her was at a café, when she was accompanying her friend, while I was talking about a workshop. There is only a wisp of a memory from that event.
Time passes, and we next meet while attending a concert headlining a well-known local celebrity. My very first friend I made in Vancouver invited me, and guess who he was bringing along as his date – my future wife. Apparently, I didn’t make a great impression. At the end of the concert I was criticizing the show and she thought I was a pretentious ass. Nothing like a good second impression.
Some more time passes and I am attending a Christmas party at a friend’s house. I was newly married and upon entering the house I took off my jacket and my new wife went up the stairs to the living room where people were congregating.
Someone then introduced me to an attractive woman with dark curly hair – I did not recognize her from our previous meetings. I said hello and we shook hands. That was when it happened. An electric shock ran through my hand and up my arm. I was stunned by this feeling and quickly took my hand away, excused myself, and fled up the stairs to my new wife.
Later on that evening, the woman with the electric touch, who was a professional dancer, did a dance performance. I remember watching her intently, maybe a little too intently as my wife inquired about who was this person and did I like her dancing.
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Ten years pass. My marriage lasted just over seven years and I had been single for a couple of years. I was then living a thousand miles away from where all the previous events occurred. It is Christmas time again and I fly into town for a short visit before going on to see my parents.
When I arrive, my best bud picks me up in his van and, as we are driving around town, he asks if I want some action. Without missing a beat I say yes (I had been celibate for close to two years). He looks at me and asks if there is anyone I want to see. Again, without hesitating, I say Paulette. He looks as stunned as I was. I never remember names. And here I am recalling someone from ten years ago who I barely knew.
Now begins the search. He doesn’t know where she lives but starts calling around to see if anyone knows how to find her. We discover where she works. Great! We zoom over to a well-known downtown restaurant. We run up the stairs and encounter the manager.
Breathless and disheveled we ask if Paulette works here. “Yes” he replies. “Great” we say. “Is she here?” “No” he says. “Oh” we say. “Can you give us her phone number?” He looks at us with disdain and says, “No.” So off we go to come up with an alternate plan.
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Somehow, my buddy is able to track down her number. Now comes the moment of truth. What am I thinking? I don’t even know this person. She may be in a relationship. I take a deep breath and tell myself that nothing ventured, nothing gained and phone. I get the answering machine.
“Hi, this is Steven. I don’t know if you remember me. We met ten years ago and I was wondering if you would like to meet? Say, for coffee or something. My number is xxx-xxxx.” That was a let-down.
When Paulette received the message she thought, “Oh, let’s see if he thinks I am interesting now.” She had this thought because when we had that handshake and I abruptly left, she assumed that I didn’t find her interesting enough to stick around and have a conversation. If only she knew.
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The next day she calls back and then the weirdest thing happens. I am fairly confident with women but this time my voice is shaky and I am nervous as hell. I felt like a teenager. We exchange pleasantries and she is willing to get together (Yes!). A mutual friend is singing the next night at a bar and we arrange to meet there.
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I get to the bar first and position myself facing the door hoping that I will recognize this person that I haven’t seen for ten years. I did recognize her. And that was almost a problem. When I last saw Paulette she was thirty-five and looked, maybe twenty seven. This is the picture I had in my memory banks. And in walks a forty-five year old woman. I gasped, and then she did the most incredible thing – she smiled – and I was a goner.
If you were to talk to anyone who knows her they will tell you that she has the most amazing smile. It radiates from somewhere deep within her soul and brings light and joy to anyone who sees it. Her smile feels like a gift and it is impossible not to be caught in the spell. She had me with her smile.
The rest is history. We have been a couple ever since and our love has grown with each passing year. Her smile still amazes me and she looks younger than ever (how does she do that?). If I could bottle her ageless beauty I would be rich. But I am wealthy beyond compare to be in a relationship with such an amazing woman.
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That is my love story, I would love to hear yours. I am assembling stories from men about when they first started their relationship to put together in a publication or to post here on The Good Men Project. Email me at [email protected] and enjoy the love stories in your life.
Photo: Flickr/Children of Darklight/13 Vinilos Warehouse