Answering the Question “What Do You Do?”

I’ve never fit into “normal” work environments. Every time I held a job, I felt like I was losing myself by the second. I have natural gifts and talents that I knew I wanted to share with the world. But I didn’t think society understood me. I didn’t know how to articulate my work, and this loss of words left me feeling insecure.

I used to dread when people would ask, “what do you do?” I’d feel overwhelmed and afraid of what they would think about my answer.

Looking back, I am thankful I didn’t let my fear stop me. Even though I wasn’t able to confidently articulate it then, I’m now excited to be paving an alternative route. I’m writing this article for anyone stepping into the future with shaky knees and a mind full of doubts.

What we do is who we are.

Like many other millennials, I don’t want to live my life divided into workdays and workweeks. Instead of having a clean-cut explanation for what I do, I realize that my work is a part of who I am. So, I reframed the question to, who are you?

With this, I feel like there’s more room for me to get my creativity flowing and gives myself space to convey the full expanse of my work.

Who am I?

I’m a published author and online astrologer. I am someone who has been able to guess people’s birthdays since I was a kid. I’m sensitive, intuitive, emotional, and I love connecting with others on those levels. I want to see the world change, and I know that happens through action and effort.

I’m deep and out there.

Shallow questions like “how are you today?” or “what do you do” are not my style. I’ve never enjoyed a conversation about the weather. When people would ask me what I do throughout my post-grad years, I’d dive into my perspective of the cosmos and how they interact with our lives. I’d get a lot of blank stares and confusion. I defaulted to assuming others thought I was completely out there.

Now I embrace my depth. I understand that some won’t want to talk about these far-out perspectives, and that’s okay. As I’ve realized this, I’ve stopped trying to please the general population. This acceptance has led me to make genuine and powerful connections.

Needing validation but never getting it.

For years I wanted a path to follow. I wanted an exact route and road to success. Every time I was doing what I “thought” made me look professional, I would regret it. It was the moments when I couldn’t entirely explain to others what I was doing but trusted that I was onto something, which led me to the most rewarding moments.

People respond to passion.

I realized that my words and explanations were only half of what I was communicating. I’m passionate about what I do, and I began seeing how that was intriguing. Instead of getting worked up about my elevator pitch and a detailed script, I would let my excitement do the talking.

Communication is art.

I began talking from a creative space, rather than a logical one. Like art, there is no right or wrong way to do it.

As a commerce degree graduate, I know this is not very professional advice. But it was my business brain that was throwing me off. I was trying to have the right words memorized and targeting the perfect niches.

When I was able to talk from my heart and paint a picture with my words, I began feeling good about answering the question, “what do you do?”.

Spoiler alert, no one is judging you.

2020 has thrown a kink in pretty much everyone’s machine. Yet I find myself exactly where I want to be, and it’s due to not giving up. I think back to my stomach, turning when I had to explain my work to someone. I even lied to some professionals because I was afraid of skepticism.

When I started seeing a new chiropractor, I decided to break that cycle. As most people do, she asked what I do; I answered confidently, “I’m an astrologer and author.” Her face lit up as she explained that she lives her life following retrogrades and celestial cycles.

It was the validation I had been looking for, but it came to me once I gave up caring about it. I realized a lot fewer people were judging me than I thought.

Creativity is messy.

Expressing who we are and what we do from a creative lens means sometimes we will make a mess. We’re going to make mistakes or stutter here and there. What’s important isn’t what we say, but how we say it. When we are proud of the finished product, it doesn’t matter if there is a mess to clean up. When we are proud of who we are, we can display ourselves and our work.

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Our responsibility is to build confidence in who we are and why we are doing what we are. Not to have the perfect answer to the question, and worry that others will judge us as right or wrong.

There’s no right answer.

I have learned that there isn’t a right or wrong answer to the question, “what do you do?”. There isn’t a magic formula or perfect articulation. Instead, it’s about passion and courage.

Going our own way takes bravery. It’s not for the faint of heart. Learning to ditch my apprehensions and speaking authentically about who I am is the number one thing I would tell my past self.

You can’t get it wrong, and even if you somehow manage to, I guarantee that there’s always going to be another chance to answer the question, “what do you do?”

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This post was previously published on Medium.com.

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