Becoming a father can be a joyous occasion, but it also brings a lot of change into a man’s life that can contribute to some anxiousness. It is normal to have some worries about becoming a father, but sometimes that anxiety begins to disrupt the ability to function or dampen happiness and well-being.
In those situations, it is good to address the anxiety and the contributing factors and causes. There are also things that you can do to get those anxious feelings under control.
Risk Factors for New Father Anxiety
There are some things that can make it more likely that you will experience anxiety when you learn that you will be a father in the months that follow. Any recent life changes or problems with relationships can make the future unclear and contribute to worry. So can stress overwork or finances.
If there are newborn complications that run in the family, then that may induce some feelings of anxiety as well. Additionally, not being able to bond with the baby once they are born or a lack of support can also increase the likelihood of uncontrolled anxiety.
Finally, a history of anxiety, depression, or other mental health conditions can be a risk factor for having debilitating anxiety from fatherhood. If this is the case, then it may be best to address the underlying or preexisting anxiety. You can also find lots of great resources and articles about anxiety at BetterHelp.
How Common is Anxiety in New Fathers?
Studies show that the rate of anxiety in new fathers or men who found out they are going to be a father is significantly higher than typical anxiety rates in men. In fact, the anxiety rates are nearly five times higher during the pregnancy period as well as during the first year of fatherhood.
Furthermore, there aren’t the same support systems in place for new fathers as there are for new mothers. Everyone knows about postpartum depression and the ways that it can impact a new mother and doctors will usually ask the woman if she is having any symptoms of depression. However, while it is less talked about, men can also suffer from postpartum depression and symptoms of poor mental health.
But what causes these feelings?
What Causes Anxiety About Becoming a Father?
Becoming a father is a big step and can impact lifestyle, finances, and every facet of life. There are plenty of reasons that fathers can have worrisome thoughts. A lot of fathers are worried that something may go wrong with their partner or baby. They may fear potential illnesses or injuries to their new son or daughter.
A lot of fathers will question their own preparedness or responsibility and wonder if they are actually ready to raise a child. They may also wonder if they will grow accustomed to their new lifestyle or be afraid that the baby could make it harder to spend time with their partner.
It is normal for fathers to wonder if they will be a good father. Self-doubt is normal, but it can also fuel fears and anxieties that are not normal or that impact well-being. It can be hard not to set high expectations for fatherhood, but just remember that every new parent has doubts and that no parent is perfect.
Financial stress is another cause of concern because the cost of delivery, diapers, clothes, food, bottles, and more can add up. If this is the case, then it can be helpful to talk to your partner. Planning ahead for a baby can help you budget time and money without digging into money for rent or mortgage, car payments, and other essentials.
Symptoms of Anxiety for New Fathers
Being able to identify feelings of anxiety can help because it is the first step for addressing those impactful feelings. Symptoms of anxiety for men can be different than symptoms of anxiety for women.
In addition to racing thoughts and constant worry, there are some symptoms to be on the lookout for. Restlessness and the inability to properly relax can be common symptoms. This can also cause muscle tension. Some other physical symptoms include rapid heart rate, chest pain, sweating, shortness of breath, or dizziness.
Other symptoms of anxiety include irritability, fatigue, insomnia and other sleep disruptions, fear, and difficulty concentrating. The worrisome thoughts can be distracting and impede your ability to thoroughly participate in enjoyable activities. It can sometimes also lead to withdrawn behavior.
What Can a New Father Do for Anxiety?
There are a lot of things that you can do to help reduce feelings of anxiety. For new fathers, some of these things are related directly to the baby or the mother. Other techniques are coping mechanisms for anxiety.
Before trying more specific tips, it is important that you take care of yourself. This means exercising regularly and eating healthy foods. It also means sleeping enough, although that may be hard to do after the baby is born. You can try to compromise with the mother to ensure that you both get sufficient sleep, even if it is less sleep than you had before the baby was born.
You can also try relaxation techniques. Mindfulness meditation can be very beneficial because it allows you to observe the flowing thoughts of anxiety without judging them or fueling them. Try to sit in a place with limited distraction and focus on your breath. As thoughts enter your mind, watch them pass and return to focus on your breath anytime you feel your attention expanding away.
Making adequate plans before the baby is born can also help with high anxiety levels. Try to get involved in the pregnancy and talk to your partner. Join the mother for prenatal visits and discuss your fears and worries. If finances are a major worry, then you and your partner could even speak with a financial planner who can help to provide an objective view of money and the ways that you can afford the baby.
Think about the type of father you want to be. Some fathers are afraid that they will be a bad father and planning for the style of parenting that you desire can be helpful. You may even think through the way you will handle specific situations, especially during the first few months of parenthood. However, be careful to do so because that can also fuel anxious thoughts.
You can also write all of your fears and anxieties in a journal. Allow your thoughts to flow freely. This can be relaxing and allow you to gain perspective on the journey of parenthood. You may also want to write down positive aspects of the situation to gain perspective and narrow the negative focus and widen your view of the joy of becoming a father.
If your anxiety is making you unable to perform at work, remain responsible, get enough sleep, or be happy, then you can also talk to a mental health professional. A therapist can help you learn relaxation techniques and refocus negative and anxious thoughts.
Conclusion
Fatherhood brings change to life that can sometimes be a catalyst for anxiety. It is normal for a new father to be anxious, but higher levels of anxiety can be troublesome. Identifying the causes of the anxiety or any risk factors that may contribute to the emotions can be a great place to start. Then, you can learn to address those feelings and learn how to relax and reframe negativity.
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