Have you ever felt the full magnitude of a healthy relationship?
It is often terrifying.
I hope to bring some normalcy to these feelings — they stem from being accustomed to toxic situations. Our brains become hardwired to expect passive aggression, hidden resentment, unclear communication, and petty jabs.
Finding yourself in these experiences one after the next programs us into believing it’s normal. However, this is very far from the truth.
When we do finally come across a healthy relationship, we have no idea what to do. It feels like uncharted territory and if your fear of the unknown doesn’t mess it up, then your subconscious desire to sabotage the entire thing will step in.
These fears can easily be mistaken for a fear of commitment or a fear of true love. As a result, accurate identification of the root of your fear is necessary for preventing any form of sabotage to the new relationship.
Chances are if you’re on the verge of entering a truly healthy relationship, then there is great communication in the dynamic. This is useful because speaking to your partner about your feelings of anxiety and nervousness is key.
Understand that these emotions are logical especially after a few toxic relationships. It takes a while to undo the conditioning we subjected ourselves to with previous partners. Be patient with yourself.
In communicating these feelings with your current partner, you’re creating a more secure bond between the two of you because you’re exposing your vulnerabilities. It also helps ensure that you never feel alone in the matter.
New relationships are always scary but the right ones, the ones that make perfect sense are downright frightening. Who knows, your partner may be feeling the same way.
Open the channel by initiating the conversation. Further discussing these feelings can promote a deeper sense of intimacy. Most of all it provides greater insight into each other’s needs. There is strength in vulnerabilities.
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This post was previously published on Medium.com.
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Photo credit: Julian Myles on Unsplash