Avoid These 6 Biggest Red Flags on Women’s Dating App Profiles

In my time on this planet, I’ve done a fair bit of online dating and come across more female profiles than there are ants in a farmer’s backyard. This has led me to discover 6 absolute no-no red flags, which, when seen, mean an automatic left swipe for the woman in question. I’ll share them with you now so you can save yourself the trouble of matching and dating the troubled souls behind said profiles.

You ready?!

Here come the pain!

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1 – “My kids come first. F*** you if you disagree!”

You’ll find this in the bios of single mothers, not all but some, particularly the angry ones. They will have nothing else written, only two sentences which read words to the effect of:

“I’m a mother of two lovely young boys who’re my world! My kids always come first, and if you can’t take that, you can fuck off!”

Now let me take a moment to speak to any woman with this abomination on her profile. Firstly, it’s a given that your kids come first. I’d expect that to be the case. In fact, if you were willing to prioritise me over them or tolerate being with me if I had any issue with them at all, that would make you a terrible person who, quite frankly, I wouldn’t want to be with. You don’t need to tell me I come second to your kids. It’s fucking obvious. It’s expected.

That’s number 1.

Number 2: your delivery was so aggressive that it put me off you as a person. Why are you so angry? Why is my first interaction with you contentious for no good reason?

You sound bitter, resentful, and not even close to being someone I’d have a good time with.

Number 3: your bio is your chance to sell yourself to the man looking at your profile (me) and let me know why I should want to get to know you. But you haven’t said a damn thing. All I know is that you seem like a miserable and jaded cow. Do you love archery? Are you adept at salsa dancing? Are you taking a reiki qualification? Are you passionate about climate change? Do you travel the world with Greenpeace?

You haven’t given me any reason to want to get to know you.

And that brings me to my next red flag.

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“I don’t need no bio. My pics speak for themselves.”

For a woman to not have a bio on her profile tells me that at least one of three things is true.

She doesn’t really want to meet someone and just wants validation
She’s vapid, vacuous, and has nothing interesting to say
She assumes having a vagina and a nice body is all she needs to interest a man

The crazy thing is that absurdly high amounts of female profiles have no bio and just a few pictures. However, these will belong to women who want to be appreciated as fully integrated beings with minds and souls, not just warm holes for a man’s length.

But tell me, how on earth is a man supposed to see a woman as anything but a sex object if she can’t write a few sentences about herself?

Your dating profile is where you sell yourself to potential mates. This means if a woman does nothing but rely on her pictures, she’s tacitly admitting that she has nothing to offer beyond her looks.

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“You gotta jump through hoops to get with me! I don’t gotta give you nothin!”

This will be a woman whose bio features nothing but a list of demands for the man to meet. It might be something like:

“If you’re not making 6 figures and are 6 feet tall, don’t bother talking to me. I like the finer things in life and expect to be treated accordingly. If your presence in my life isn’t a net positive, then you don’t deserve to be in it. Successful men only.”

Now here’s the thing, I’m not at all bothered by her stating what she wants. We’re all free to enjoy precisely what the hell we need from a partner, so who am I to get in the way of her chasing her desires? I also applaud this woman for saying what she’s after so nobody wastes their time. However, she still hasn’t said anything about herself.

She’s banking on the fact that she has some divine feminine radiance that means she’s immediately a proven entity, but that’s not true. As with the first two red flags, she’s given you no clue about who she is, and there’s a reason for that.

She’s a princess.

She sees herself as a princess who needs a self-sacrificing father figure to bend to her every whim and never ask for anything in return.

Her personality is unimportant because she’s a princess. Her goals are neither here nor there because she’s a princess. Her interests are immaterial because she’s a princess.

Apparently, you’re the one on trial. Not her.

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“I don’t need nothin but group photos!”

Have you ever seen a profile that is nought but a series of group photos? Annoying, isn’t it? You haven’t got a freaking clue which one she is. The only way to find out is to break out the old magnifying glass, turn into Sherlock Holmes and cross-reference one image against another. It’s as time-consuming as it is soul-sucking, but how else will you know which of those 5 similarly dressed and proportioned women will turn up to your date?

Anyway, why do women do this? Honestly, for the same reason as this next red flag:

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“You don’t need to see anything but my face!”

How many profiles have you seen with only face shots? Tons, right? And it’s pretty sad because I know and sympathise with why these women do this, but I still have to swipe left on them all the same.

Women who have nothing but face shots are like those who only post group pics, I.E., insecure about their looks/bodies. They don’t think you’d like them if you saw them clearly and are hiding in the hope that when you meet them in person, you’ll have such a good time that you forget about it.

But sadly, that’s not the way it works, and just like many a woman has felt the sting of meeting a man who was nowhere near as tall as his profile made out.

By deliberately obscuring herself, all a woman is doing is denying you the chance to make a properly informed decision

And finally, this brings me to the last red flag, which is:

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“I don’t got nothing on my profile but a black screen and pics of pets.”

This is by far the most enormous red flag of them all because it clearly shows that one of two things is true.

This woman is horrendously insecure about her looks, even more so than the last two red flags
She’s trolling and just created a dummy account to mess with men for reasons that only she knows

Any woman who doesn’t feel comfortable showing her face on a dating app is someone you should give a wide berth because that’s very telling. Assuming she’s not trolling, she has significant confidence issues which I promise you’ll want no part of. This is a woman who’ll most likely need need constant around-the-clock validation.

I know it’s romantic to think someone will complete you in a relationship, but it’s not close to being realistic. Any woman who needs your affirmation to accept herself will be an emotional vampire who would be miserable to be trapped in a relationship with.

However, if she’s just trolling, then I don’t even need to explain why she’s not worth your right swipe.

And there you have it. These are my 6 most significant women’s dating app profile red flags. Did I miss anything? Let me know below. Ciao for now.

Chaos is a ladder,

Excelsior,

Ciaran

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If you enjoyed this, get my ebook ‘Why You’re Not Getting Matches’ to fix whatever red flags are on YOUR dating profile, and join my community for exclusive podcasts and interviews.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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