Bad Kissers Lose When It Comes To Love, Here’s Why

We kiss, and then we know. It’s the feeling we get that leaning in and wanting more from our love interest. Was it a great kiss? Awesome. Kissing someone is the perfect way to determine whether a relationship can move forward or not.

Women are twice as likely to break it off with a bad kisser.

A 2007 study asked over 200 people in The Journal of Evolutionary Psychology about the importance of kissing. They were asked if they had found themselves attracted to someone, only to discover after kissing for the first time that they were no longer interested. Apparently, over 60% of people experienced this. I have definitively stopped dating someone because their kissing was so bad. In all honesty, terrible kissing irritates me greatly. I’ve experienced slobbery kisses, men sticking their tongue into my mouth and moving it in propeller fashion. For such an easy gesture as a simple kiss, why is it that so much can go wrong?

Getting intense too quickly, having bad breath, and not communicating with the person you want to kiss are the most common reasons some are considered bad kissers. However, not everything is considered bad for everyone — except for bad breath. There’s nothing I could write to sugar-cote that one. I believe that everybody has a different understanding of what type of kissing they like.

Or put differently, just because I think someone’s a lousy kisser doesn’t mean that everyone else thinks the same way. Therefore, like with almost everything about attraction, dating, relationships, and dating, what constitutes a great make-out session is very subjective.

How important is kissing anyway?

There is no percentage to the question of how significant kissing is. Worse still, there is no scientifically valid explanation for why we kiss in the first place. There are different ideas, research, and scientific debate about why we kiss. However, these approaches can’t explain why 10% of the population does not kiss at all.

Some research suggests that kissing is a behavior we’re taught, which explains why some people don’t kiss at all. On the other hand, however, most researchers thought kissing is thought to be an innate activity. They come to this conclusion because, essentially, kissing is the key to figuring out with whom we might want to develop a committed and strong relationship. Kissing, in other words, is the key to love.

How important kissing is done vary. While women find kissing very important, men aren’t as strict. According to studies, women use kissing to evaluate a date more than men. Women are also more likely to see kissing as a method to bond; thus, they search for kisses throughout a relationship. Furthermore, when people perceive their partner is only interested in sex, they are less likely to kiss. In a 2007 survey of college students, most women said they wouldn’t have sex unless they kissed someone beforehand, while males didn’t mind because kissing increased the likelihood of intercourse.

On the other hand, men are less selective about kissing partners. They were discovered to be more enthusiastic, though. Men prefer open-mouthed, tongue-included, wet kissing to women. They also tended to prefer the person they were kissing making nice noises. Although males prefer greater saliva interaction, both men and women value the persistence of kissing during a relationship.

Frequent kissing, rather than frequent intercourse, is a stronger indicator of a successful relationship, according to a study in 2013. This backs the idea that kissing may screen potential spouses and that kissing is vital for bonding. Furthermore, sharing a kiss generates a sense of belonging, which is vital early on in a relationship and later on.

While testing kisses are common in the early stages of dating, bonding kisses become increasingly vital as the relationship progresses. Kisses for bonding aren’t only for long cuddling make-out sessions. A bonding kiss can be a brief peck on the cheek, a good smooch, or a tender kiss on the forehead; the purpose of these kisses is to show your spouse that you care. In addition, the link between lovers is reinforced by instilling a sense of security and commitment. While these kisses do not always result in sexual pleasure, they play a crucial role in making a partner feel secure and cherished after sex.

Kisses can make all the difference.

To me, kissing is essential. How we kiss says a lot about someone if you ask me. And when looking for love, kissing is a highly effective tool. Nonetheless, research and scholarly debates on kissing do leave many things open. For one, there’s no concrete definition of what constitutes a good or poor kiss. Whatever the biological or chemical reasons for bad or good kissing might be, these don’t entirely explain why some kisses appeal or repel us.

Lastly, I am not convinced that when it comes to love, attraction, dating, and relationships, it’s wise to try to explain everything based only on the experience of the two genders. It does not reflect the reality of a lot of people. What I am sure about, though, is that wonderful kisses make us happy. While we may not completely comprehend all aspects of kissing, it is an effective instrument in pursuing love, sex, and relationships.

Finally, we all want to be loved, with or without kissing.

—

Previously Published on medium

You Might Also Like These From The Good Men Project

Compliments Men Want to Hear More Often

Relationships Aren’t Easy, But They’re Worth It

The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex

..A Man’s Kiss Tells You Everything

—

Photo credit: iStock