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Do you want to be a better lover?
Do you want to have more pleasure, and give more pleasure to your partner?
Do you want to experience deeper intimacy and connection?
Go within.
So many people are looking for the secret, the magic techniques that are going to turn them into sexual superheroes.
The secret is the opposite of what so many of us think is, and it’s opposite to where so many think it is.
Go within.
Look at yourself, learn about yourself, heal yourself, explore yourself, expand yourself.
Look at what stops you from being more intimate, open and vulnerable.
Look at the defenses you have that stop you loving more, giving and receiving.
Look at what stops you being more present with your lover.
Look at what you withhold when you touch.
Look at what separates your body, your sexuality from your heart.
Look at the expectations you bring to your pleasure experiences.
Look at the patterns you express.
Look at your connection with yourself.
Within you is a Pleasure Being of incredible wisdom, sensitivity, creativity, inspiration, and connection.
So many things in our lives have distanced us from this beautiful aspect of ourselves.
To greet this Pleasure Being you have to go inside yourself.
Then everything else you learn becomes a natural expression of that, of you, a higher you that knows the art of love, of pleasure.
The inner journey heals that which has disconnected you from it.
No technique can do that. No, “I made her come 20 times in an hour.” No, “I gave him a blow-job that left him speechless for an hour.”
Yes, learning about your partner is important.
Learn about their body, their pleasure spots, where they are, how to find them, how to wake them up, what to do with them when you’ve found them.
Learn about sexual energy.
Learn all the wonderful techniques.
When your journey to being a good lover, in every meaning of that, is within, then, and only then, will all the techniques and information be more than an egoistic expression.
When they come from your heart.
When they are an expression of yourself.
All that’s extra.
Inside of you, all that has a context, a place, we see it for what it is.
The secret is not in the sex manuals, and DVD’s, not even in my own DVD’s.
The secret to being an amazing lover is inside of you.
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This post was originally published on eroslife.co.za and is republished with the author’s permission.
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Photo credit: Getty Images
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