There is no relationship that ends without warning. If it seems that way, it may be because something has been overlooked.
If you value the relationship, then it is important to pay attention to these changes in behavior and address any concerns before the relationship ends.
Generally speaking, when a man is ready to break up, he there are these three stages which can be seen as warning signs:
01 The first stage: leave a way out
There are many men take the mature way of breaking up — that is by talking to their partner about the issues in the relationship and seeing if there is a way to resolve them together. If there is not a way to do so, they end the relationship with kindness and empathy.
However, not all men are like this. For some men, if he is going to end a relationship, he decides to have calculations in his subconscious: If I want to end this relationship, how can I minimize my loss?
This may manifest itself in two ways:
A typical approach is to “clean up the marks related to you” and delete the information related to you on social media.
Then he will no longer be willing to take you into his social circle, nor participate in your social circle.
In this way, your imprint in his life becomes diluted, so that he can plan for himself to leave you completely, and make a transition without any sense of disobedience.
Another way this stage manifests itself is that he starts or escalates flirting with other women.
Some men want to make their current relationship seamlessly connected to the next relationship. They want to know who their next partner will be before leaving the one they are currently with.
In addition to using the “clear your mark” trick to create the illusion that they are single, they will start flirting with other women. In this way, it helps him achieve emotional transfer and reduce his pain after breaking up with you.
02 The second stage: reduce investment
If your man suddenly starts to get busy, and no longer has time to meet you or text you, this could also be a sign he is about to break up with you. When you ask, he may say things like: “very busy recently”, “a lot of pressure” and other similar excuses.
But he has time to play with my friends, and he has time to post updates on Moments. Then this “busy” reason is just an excuse to neglect you.
You must know that the person who loves you will make time for you. Even if you are in a different place, he will take time out of his busy schedule to contact you if he knows that is what you want.
But suddenly he’s not interested in meeting you or calling you, and you can’t always find him. As soon as you ask him, he uses all kinds of excuses to prevaricate you. This may indicate a problem.
When he was passionately in love before, he had endless love words, even the trivial things in life would be eager to share with you. But when he suddenly doesn’t want to say anything, even if he chats with you for a few words, he still acts dull and wants to end the topic immediately.
It can only mean that he now feels that being with you is a waste of time, and his world no longer needs you to enter.
When a man still has you in his heart, this is unlikely to happen.
If he reduces his company and investment in you without good reasons, it is clear that he wants to withdraw from this relationship.
03 The third stage: create conflict
Sometimes when a man chooses to end a relationship, he will not be the one who speaks directly. A man may feel he has a “sense of responsibility”, if they choose to break up because they “don’t love women”, then they will have a sense of guilt and feel that they have broken their promises.
But if it was a woman who “initiated” to propose it, then the man may feel much better in their hearts.
In order to do this, a man may take the initiative to provoke conflicts and increase the woman’s dissatisfaction in this relationship, so as to “force” the woman to break up on her own initiative.
He may become angry, his tolerance may decrease, he no longer tolerates himself as before, and may even show signs of actively disliking you.
It seems that whatever you do, there are problems in his eyes, and no matter what you do, it is wrong. In fact, this is just him “finding fault” and taking the initiative to start a war.
As long as he wants you to break up with him, then no matter what, he can find a reason to quarrel.
In addition, he may start to blame you for every little problem.
After a long time like this, this continuous psychological suppression will form an inertia, making you feel that everything is because of your own problems, even if you are broken up in the end, it is all because of your own reasons.
In this way, even if he “proactively initiates a war” and provokes you to initiate a breakup, he can still have enough reasons to choose to leave you.
These actions may be a way for the man to shift the blame of the breakup onto the partner and alleviate their own guilt.
Most relationships do not suddenly break down without warning. No one can just walk away and leave suddenly. Most breakups have been planned for a long time, and there are already clues. It is important to pay attention to these changes in behavior and address any concerns before the relationship ends.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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