Being Away From Your Partner During Isolation

Tomorrow will be 9 weeks since I have returned to my hometown from my University city due to the advice from the government and university regarding the Covid-19 outbreak. Meaning 9 weeks since I last saw my boyfriend, the longest we have ever been apart since our relationship began nearly 4 and a half years ago.

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What we all have in common is that we are all missing at least someone. But thanks to the new guidelines, as long as you’re 2 meters apart, you can still go and see people. But how do you go and see your boyfriend that you haven’t seen in 9 weeks without hugging him? We both agreed to try to see each other from two meters apart would probably make things worse and we are just grateful for the technology that allows for video calling.

Overall, because we are with our families, we don’t feel too lonely and due to the severity of the worldwide situation, I am abiding by the measures and guidelines so that this can all be over with as soon as possible. But the lack of physicality and normal routines such as watching a movie together or eating a meal across from one another are the simple things we miss and always took for granted.

For anyone not in the UK, you may not have heard of the Ferguson scandal that happened recently. Due to his research as a professor who specializes in the spread of infectious diseases, the UK is in lockdown with social distancing measures. Hence, why anyone not living with their partner could not see them at all. This is why it is incredibly frustrating that this same professor had a married lover come to visit him during this time period.

Most people agree that social distancing measures should be in place, as per Ferguson’s advice, but when people in the government and scientists advising the government think that they are above the rest of us is what makes this process more frustrating and stressful. My boyfriend only lives 7 miles away, we usually saw each other at least every other day, pre-Covid obviously. It is so tempting but we refuse, out of principle for the people that haven’t had the opportunity to see dying parents or attend funerals and as to not risk those working in the healthcare system.

I think we all know at least one couple that lives in different households and is still seeing each other. If you are one of them, I hope you understand on a very deep level how selfish you are both being. What makes you both more important as a couple than anyone else? What makes you two so special, that the NHS should be given more work to look after you both if you spread it through each other, and then through your households further? Why do you see yourselves in that way?

It is difficult, I am not denying that. But through technology, you can still call and see each other every day, and plan a really lovely reunion for when this is all over. What is helpful is that mostly everyone is going through the same thing, so there is a sense of unity at everyone being apart from their partners, friends, family, etc. But the way I see it, the more people follow these measures, including the government and their scientific advisors, the sooner this will all be over, and every couple will be able to spend time with each other.

In general, relationships have changed in recent years. Long-distance is more common and it is far more normal to have your career dictate that. What makes this so much harder is the uncertainty, it could be another 9 weeks, I could see him tomorrow. But this is a part of your relationship that will really shape your future. You’ll learn about how to show affection from miles away and through a screen, and what you both need to be happy and apart in your relationship. If you see it in this way, you may actively make the whole process easier and more impactful.

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Previously published on “Hello, Love”, a Medium publication.

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