Being Vulnerable Is a Good Thing — Let Me Explain Why

I met him when we were in our early-20s through a dating app… as most beginnings to love stories in the 21st century. I quickly found myself asking, “Where has this man been all my life?” He was that person that could turn the most horrible situation into one that was pleasant in an instant. He had this charisma about him that lit up the room. Everyone loved being around him because of his contagious and electric personality. Not to mention the most beautiful eyes that could swallow you whole. I continuously found myself getting lost in them and his smile — a half-grin short and sweet so that he wouldn’t give me his all I’d always keep yearning for more and more of him.

I had just come out of an abusive relationship that wore me down to the core. I was questioning many things when I first met him. I was trying not to seem so damaged and lost, and I didn’t want to make it easy to take advantage of myself. I was also so scared and worried that I would bring too much baggage and eventually be too much for him. I didn’t want to lose him so quickly because of my past and its “add-on’s”.

Weeks turned to months and to my surprise we were still together.

He only used kind words, was patient, and showed me, love, during times another would’ve shown me anger. In this short time together, he gave me the trust and safety to open up to him.

He showed me the most important state of mind — vulnerability. This was something I didn’t believe in at all. I was always trying to shield myself from the outside world and avoid people in my life. In my experience, the word “vulnerability” always has a negative connotation to it, it is often viewed as weak, liable, and open to attack. What I learned was the complete opposite. Working on this trait made me self-aware, highlighted my interests, and made me have meaningful relationships with people. This also helped me in my relationship as the vulnerability has brought a new level of intimacy, I believe that to be truly vulnerable in a relationship you need to feel safe. I think that this is a good indicator in any relationship or partnership in any means. It makes it clearer to you if it is worth pursuing.

We are now seeing a lot of leadership skills that suggest leaders be vulnerable, as it is proven to show trust among teams. It shows others that you are human and flawed. It’s easy to show confidence when you are a leader, it’s like the most obvious. It is also an easily faked personality trait if you cannot be “real” with your team how can you expect them to be loyal to you if you make yourself out to be.

In my opinion, being transparent is to reveal everything whether it has meaning or not. Being vulnerable is allowing yourself to be seen for who you truly are — exposing all flaws. Revealing the core of you to someone else that’s what I believe is the difference between the two terms. We sometimes interchange the two by interchanging the meanings. Sharing or, oversharing is its own term. Being vulnerable by removing all the layers of yourself to show to someone takes courage and is a scary process period. But sometimes as the old saying goes “the risk is worth the reward” in my case it was, I hope that the same goes for you.

Here’s to the future, and I hope that this inspires you to be vulnerable. You never know what you’ll discover about yourself in this life.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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