Enough with the -ism schism already. Let’s try including everybody by including everybody.
We are drowning in a pool of -isms: liberalism, conservatism, feminism, veganism, capitalism, socialism. We view the world through our prisms of -isms, and then we wonder why no one else sees things as we do.
Don’t get me wrong: Your -ism is great. Provided we’re not talking about racism, sexism, ageism, etc. yours is a fine -ism, and you’re welcome to it. The problem with your -ism, though— and mine, and my buddy Rudy’s—is that it isn’t always delicious chocolate to someone else’s creamy peanut butter. When -isms collide, sometimes we get peanut butter cupism, sometimes we leave someone out, and sometimes we get angry.
And man are we angry these days. I’m going to assume that you’re online since you’re reading this (observantism!), so I think I can safely conclude that you’ve run across some vitriolic comments section where many -isms have collided. Perhaps a Facebook friend made an -ism friendly comment (“These colors don’t run!”), or maybe just a joke that didn’t quite work (“I’m with Sir Mix-A-Lot when it comes to mass and spatial topics”), and then it starts: The -isms attack, defend, and battle for superiority. What side of the debate we land on—assuming we’re not quick enough to simply ignore it—depends on our particular -isms.
Because that’s what -isms do: They choose a side, regardless of whether they expressly intend to. If I sign up for one-legged-cosmetologist-ism, by default I’ve excluded two legged cosmetologists. My heart is most likely in the right place: I have nothing against bipedal hairdressers, I just want my group to get a break. That’s admirable.
In fact, most -isms are admirable in some way, and they are trying to achieve the same thing. Virtually all of them, with exception perhaps to Bedazzlerism, strive to improve the lives of some subset of sentient beings. That’s right: The distance separating Sarah McLachlan’s animal rightsism and the Dalai Lama’s Buddhism is the arms of an angel.
Strip away the dogma of the -isms—the prescriptive nonsense—and what we’re left with is the startling reality that at our core we all want the same things. We want a fair shake. We want to be safe, fed, happy, and comfortable. We don’t want to be exploited, subordinated, or manipulated. If we all want the same things, why all the head butting?
So here’s what I’m going to do: I’m trading in all of my -isms for a brand new one: Everybodyism, the all-encompassing “I want you to be equal, healthy, happy, safe, and proud” -ism. I don’t care if you’re white, brown, blue, straight, gay, male, female, or Canadian (humorism!). You’re a member of my exclusive club, all 7 billion of you.
Are you willing to drop your -isms and join me in Everybodyism? Seven billion is a big club, but I promise I’ll never make you bring the donuts. And I can get you 15% off of a one-legged haircut—just tell them James sent you (cronyism!).
—modified photo Pargon /Flickr Creative Commons
I’m assuming this was more of a nuanced article that is trying make a cheeky point about love and inclusion rather than actually suggesting there is a problem with the English verbiage describing the way we compartmentalize and categorize. One can’t “strip away” the dogma of the “isms” because those words describe ourselves so that others know a bit about us and where we stand. Sure, we all want the same thing but there will always be a fundamental disagreement on how is best to get there. Hence the “isms”. People “head butt” because they see the world differently based… Read more »
I’m assuming this was more of a nuanced article that is trying make a cheeky point about love and inclusion rather than actually suggesting there is a problem with the English verbiage describing the way we compartmentalize and categorize. One can’t “strip away” the dogma of the “isms” because those words describe ourselves so that others know a bit about us and where we stand. Sure, we all want the same thing but there will always be a fundamental disagreement on how is best to get there. Hence the “isms”. People “head butt” because they see the world differently based… Read more »
Love it! Love you for saying it!
Thanks, Joy. I promise you no donut duty when all 7 billion of us meet :).
James Stafford: So here’s what I’m going to do: I’m trading in all of my -isms for a brand new one: Everybodyism, the all-encompassing “I want you to be equal, healthy, happy, safe, and proud” -ism. I don’t care if you’re white, brown, blue, straight, gay, male, female, or Canadian (humorism!). You’re a member of my exclusive club, all 7 billion of you. — Not drinking the kool-aid anymore, eh? Next think you know, Tom Matlack will be brought back from exile. Maybe…just maybe…GMP is gonna smarten up. I’m not ready to bet money on it, but I’ll enjoy watching… Read more »
I don’t drink sugary beverages, but Kool-Aid Man and his pitcher-shaped brethren are welcome in my club. Oh yeah!