Being with someone shouldn’t make you feel more alone.
Single or in a relationship — it’s the status that divides society, whether we care to admit it or not.
Regardless of which category you fall into, there will always be someone judging your choices. But lucky for you, it’s your life, and other people’s opinions are quite irrelevant.
At the end of the day, it’s about what you feel, which is why if you choose to be in a relationship, you better make sure it’s a great one.
Too many people settle because they feel as if that’s what they’re supposed to do. They put aside their priorities, their feelings, their goals and their dreams just to assuage expectations society has forced upon them.
How does this make any sense? Shouldn’t you want to be happy on your own? Isn’t it better to be comfortable with who you are than to worry about appeasing someone else?
How can you even be in a successful relationship if you aren’t fully secure with yourself?
If that wasn’t convincing enough, here are some more reasons it’s better to be single than with a person who doesn’t really understand or appreciate the real you.
You won’t feel bad about your lifestyle choices
Wouldn’t you rather spend your time developing yourself rather than defending yourself to someone else?
If your partner is committed to misunderstanding you, why are you even with him or her in the first place? That’s just a complete and utter waste of both of your time.
You’re not seeking approval
An unhealthy relationship is one that requires you to seek approval in anything and everything you do.
Why do you need approval from a partner in order to pursue any endeavor that’s important to you?
You’re not walking on eggshells
There’s no worse feeling than being uneasy and uncomfortable around someone you’re in a relationship with.
Isn’t the entire point of being with someone the fact that you can feel completely confident around him or her?
You don’t have to constantly explain yourself and your decisions
A decision is a decision, and that’s it. If it’s something you feel strongly enough about, that should be reason enough for your counterpart’s support.
Sure, it’s natural to ask questions, but that’s quite different than constantly having to defend yourself.
You don’t question yourself so much
The sign of an unhealthy relationship is one in which you never really feel confident in any decision or thought you make or have.
If you are constantly wondering if you are good enough, then you need to nix the source of these concerns, and if it’s your partner, so be it — you’ll be better off without him or her.
You can say whatever is on your mind without being judged
Your thoughts, beliefs and ideas are your own, so you should feel free to express them in any manner you deem fit. If someone has a problem with that, he or she can leave.
You create your own happiness
Your happiness is based solely on you and what you bring to your life.
It’s not dependent upon another person, especially when that person can’t even understand the choices you make in your life.
Your life choices are contingent upon you — and only you
When you’re single, your choices completely revolve around you and what you want to do.
If you’re in an unhealthy and non-understanding relationship, why would you even want to base your choices on someone else?
You don’t feel constantly disrespected
There is absolutely no reason to keep a person in your life, whether it’s a friend or significant other, who blatantly disrespects you.
The only way for relationships to grow and prosper is if there is mutual respect for both parties.
You don’t have to defend yourself
Why would you waste your precious time and energy defending actions you believe in?
Your partner should want to support you, not undermine everything you do. If that’s the case, it’s most likely time for you to reevaluate your relationship.
Decision-making is difficult enough when taking only your perspective into account
It’s hard enough to make a decision when the only person you’re considering in the equation is yourself.
Now add one more person into the mix, and that decision just got infinitely harder to make.
You only have so much energy
There are only so many hours in the day. Life is too short to spend it with someone who won’t make it better.
Exert your energy seeking out like-minded people who support you.
Being with someone shouldn’t make you feel more alone
If you feel more isolated with a partner than without one, you’ve got a serious issue on your hands. A significant other is supposed to enhance your life, not diminish it.
You want a partner in this life, not a parole officer, and if your SO starts to seem like the latter rather than the former, well, you know what decision you should be making…
by Ashley Fern
About the author
Ashley Fern holds the position of Senior Lifestyle Writer after being rescued from the pursuits of law school. She was born and raised between NY and South Florida, but spent her most fun years at Penn State, pursuing a political science degree.
This article originally appeared on Elite Daily. Reprinted with permission.