I don’t know about you, but I’m getting sick and tired of the gender war. Identity has become politicized. Before it became a divisive tool of pundits and power brokers in the modern age, gender has been used to define the roles of males and females throughout history. It’s way past time we took a serious look at the idea of gender, instead of continuing to march on autopilot on the topic.
I’m not a social scientist by formal education, as trolls have been quick to point out. I find it hilarious when conservative-minded men’s rights zealots show their extreme cognitive dissonance. I’m a man taking individual initiative to continue my education in the fields that pertain to the human mind. Basically, I’m giving myself a “Good Will Hunting” education: I read a lot of stuff. Then, I collate that information into new ideas to consider. You’d think my self-motivation would be applauded by men.
I suppose they get upset when I don’t toe the line of orthodox macho dogma. Here’s where the dissonance comes into play: the Men’s Rights Activists (MRAs) lash out and seek to minimize my self-made education, pointing out that I “only have a bachelor’s degree in English.” Make up your minds, snowflakes!
Yes, I know, the trolls are reacting to my insistence that men are more than the pitiful, limited handful of behaviors the Cult of Machismo deems acceptable. If they read my work a bit closer, however, they’d see I don’t have a “feminist agenda.” As I’ve said many times before, I’m a humanist.
I firmly believe we need to be more than just men and women. But this doesn’t mean we should erase all differences between us. The path forward is more subtle than our current culture of extremes allows us to see.
More Human Than You, Man
During my studies, something occurred to me that seems to be common sense. Let me take you on a bit of a thought experiment:
Our current gender roles are based on both biology and socialization. There’s no use denying that men and women are different biologically. These biological differences have many impacts on us, from physical strength down to our very reproductive plumbing. Yes, there are even behavioral impacts, especially based around how we react to children. Biological differences also impact how we think, feel, and perceive the world.
Did you read that, MRAs? Men and women are different biologically. Stop bothering me about neoteny.
But here’s the thing: it has been shown that much of what we think regarding gender is socialized. There is evidence our Neolithic ancestors didn’t have very strict gender roles.
The way to cut through the Gordian knot of today’s identity politics is to refocus on our shared humanity.
Basically, civilization took the biological differences between the sexes and exaggerated them. Not only that, we mythologized our differences. We as a species have had a tendency to view our world through the lens of the supernatural. Thus, the rise of the belief in the “sacred masculine and feminine.”
I think it’s perfectly fine to have self-esteem for who you are, but religious belief has tended to become “self-esteem on steroids.” We took the constructs of masculine and feminine and projected them into godhood. Then, we forgot that we were actually the creators of this divinity.
So, across time, civilizations manipulated the concept of gender, setting expectations of men and women, enforcing specific roles. We have allowed ourselves to have widespread cultural amnesia, mistaking our own constructs as the declarations of magical beings in the sky. We have given away our power of self-determination through self-deception.
Grin and Share It
Guess what? Both MRAs and feminists are simultaneously right and wrong. Yes, men and women are biologically different. Simultaneously, there is no difference between men and women in how we can consciously express gender. Our consciousness can transcend our biology. That’s what makes us human, not just some bald ape. Men and women can share many of the same behaviors, without breaking what it means to be male or female. We all know this, instinctively. But this has been buried under the many pressures and agendas of societal dogma.
When it comes to most things in life, we are all correct and incorrect at the same time. We all do our best with the information we have available. The human experience is a bittersweet tragicomic affair that often strays into the absurd. For instance, it’s absurd that we are screaming at each other about our differences. The biological differences between men and women are self-evident, so there’s no point arguing. There’s also no point in arguing over arbitrary, human-made classifications of male and female because they’re not actually “universal truth.”
Gender roles assigned by society do have roots in our biological differences. But they’ve been manipulated over time at the whims of fallible human beings. No, we should not seek to eliminate or ignore what makes men and women different biologically. But why would we continue to just blindly follow the arbitrary “gender rules” of long-dead people? We have taken the differences between men and women and pushed them to exaggerated extremes. Anything in life can become too much of a good thing.
The way to cut through the Gordian knot of today’s identity politics is to refocus on our shared humanity. Honestly, I don’t know why we make this so complicated. We just need to realize we may have differences, but our shared human spark is much more important than what separates us.
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I'm a writer, speaker, and an advocate for everyday heroism. I have over two decades of experience in the practical application of literature, philosophy, psychology, and other disciplines. The culmination of my work is the Live the Hero program, a life philosophy that promotes personal development combined with service to others. Live the Hero combines the wisdom found in the arts and humanities with the latest discoveries related to research in heroism science and positive psychology. You can learn more at livethehero.com.
I’m not a social scientist by formal education, as trolls have been quick to point out. I find it hilarious when conservative-minded men’s rights zealots show their extreme cognitive dissonance. I’m a man taking individual initiative to continue my education in the fields that pertain to the human mind. Basically, I’m giving myself a “Good Will Hunting” education: I read a lot of stuff. Then, I collate that information into new ideas to consider. You’d think my self-motivation would be applauded by men.
