Tears streamed down his angelic face as we drove the hour back home from having our first of what I can very safely assume will be many sessions of family photos together.
“What’s wrong, my love?”
“They’re just so beautiful” he quietly answered.
He sobbed for a few minutes more as we drove over Lake Lewisville headed home from our eventful afternoon, literally and genuinely moved to tears by the beauty of the tulip farms in Pilot Point, Texas.
Tosca has always been amazingly supportive and encouraging of him talking about his feelings, identifying them when possible, and allowing him the safe space to simply feel and process. This day, was certainly an embodiment of that gift she so lovingly shares with the people she loves. Trevor is special, he was diagnosed with Autism at the tender age of three, and has made major progress in his self-expression and coping mechanisms to get through the world that isn’t always suited for the way his beautiful mind works. Tosca has spent her life as a mother helping him take pause and assess what he is feeling, and figuring out a path forward through those feelings, whether they are good, bad, uncomfortable, happy, hangry, sad or unknown. It’s okay to not always feel okay.
When I came into their lives one year ago, her parenting style is the most loving, thoughtful and considerate form I’ve ever seen. His feelings are just as important and valid as ours are, even if he doesn’t understand what they are or how to always express them. We aim to give him healthy outlets, words for his emotions and to guide him in a healthy manner through life, living as a sensitive soul in this human form. He greets people with hugs, and rushes to comfort people that are hurting. He cries at the sight of a field of tulips on a sunny afternoon. He is gentle with our dog with arthritis and rough with our crazy little Boston Terrier that loves to wrestle. He cries at the thought of someone feeling unhappy, and apologizes if he uses a harsh tone.
Let your boys cry. Let your men cry. Sometimes our feelings are too much and our eyes need to relieve the pressure. Emotions get trapped in our bodies and can cause major health problems if they go unexpressed and unaddressed. The “boys don’t cry” and “man up” expressions are ones of dis-ease and can be released from our lives. We all have tear ducts, it’s quite acceptable to let them flow.
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