The strength of a woman is taken for granted. But when she breaks, she breaks. Then she’s judged.
I feel women are given few liberties to find themselves. A man can go play and come back home. Learn from his mistakes. Women are expected to be strong enough to take him back or strong enough to let him go. But women, we have to be perfect. Our lives depend on it.
I think it goes back to a time when women were seen as possessions. I’m not interested in being possessed. I’m not interested in belonging to anyone or any man. I have no master. If you were my master, you would know how to fix me after you’ve broken me, but alas you have no clue. This is because I do not belong to you. I belong to myself. I know the difference between right & wrong & I can wade through the gray area. I am enough.
Partners share equally in the gains & losses. That’s the only relationship of interest to me. We were not partners. I took the weight of it, all of it. Like lifting, I grew stronger. But when I reached my max, you kept putting more weight on top. I couldn’t lift anymore. I was not as strong as I needed to be, so I walked away. But walking away felt strong. But then it felt weak.
Was I suppose to be able to bear more? Was I suppose to be able to handle more weight? Undoubtedly, I loved you.
But that wasn’t enough. I needed a teammate. There’s no I in team. Sounds cliche, but it’s true. I shouldn’t be the only one lifting if we’re a team. The damnedest part, was that you weren’t even spotting for me. That’s why you didn’t notice that I couldn’t lift anymore.
So I did the only thing I could do — I put the weights down, and walked away.
This post was previously published on Mariposa Magazine and is republished here with permission from the author.
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