We want the good. Give us your glimpse into modern-day masculinity and the way it functions in positive ways within our society.
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Let’s face it – the word “masculinity” tends to get a bad rap these days. When I searched it in my Macbook’s dictionary here’s what appeared:
“Possession of the qualities traditionally associated with men.” Okay….
Then, BOOM, the word used in a sentence: “A need for men to prove their masculinity through domination over women.”
Other definitions I found used words linked with aggression – which basically paired masculinity with a word more often than not paired with violence. Masculinity constantly defined in these ways seems destined to carry negativity’s weight, right?
When I ask people “What is masculinity?” they often speak about the size and physical strength of a man.
“But what if we’re not big and strong? Can we still be masculine?”
Silence. When I press on I’m told it’s more of a “traditional” trait.
“Okay, so of these ‘traditional’ qualities, which are the best?” I usually bring in Bruce Lee at this point, how he wouldn’t practice a martial art simply out of tradition. It had to be functional; it had to work in positive ways. “So, what works about masculinity?”
One person went with this idea and told me that so long as masculinity is “authentic” and “respectful” then it’s functional. Okay, we’re getting somewhere. “What’s an example?”
“Like…a dude helping another dude push his car out of a ditch.”
Interesting! “So masculinity need not be an idea or an action directed towards a woman?”
“No.”
“Can a woman be ‘masculine’ and can that be a good thing?”
“Yes, and yes.”
“Why does masculinity so often need to be paired with the word ‘health,’ as in ‘healthy masculinity?’ Is this because masculinity by itself is typically negative?”
At this point, the conversation usually circles back to brave attempts to answer the originally question: What is masculinity?
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We’re not asking you to define masculinity. And we’re not asking you to continue linking it to words with negative connotations. We’re asking you to tell us what you think is good about masculinity.
We want the good. This can be a story about you or your father or father’s father or your mother. This can be an event you saw or heard. This can be a scene in a book that to perfectly embodies the greatest aspect of masculinity.
Give us your glimpse into modern-day masculinity and the way it functions in positive ways within our society.
Help us take this conversation to the next level.
Send us your submissions here:
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I like the idea of compiling more positive images and interpretations of masculinity, but why call this The Good Men Project? That just perpetuates the idea that masculinity is solely a trait of men. Masculinity is something women, trans*, gender-neutral, and other non-binary people identify with and that name is neglecting this. Men and masculinity are not the same thing, they are often connected, but to begin to form a more positive image of masculinity, we have to stop perpetuating the idea that only men can be masculine.
Maybe we should stop listing out stereotypical traits of masculinity and start identifying archetypical traits.
Me? I feel the archetypical modern (though by definition probably not contemporary) masculine figure is Atticus Fynch.
I understand you’re looking for submissions concerning modern-day masculinity and the way it functions in positive ways within our society. Am I to understand that GOOD masculinity is how The Good Man Project (et cet.) predominantly projects it? Can we ALL get the posted parameters describing what TGMP editors (and target demographic) feel GOOD masculinity is , as it would function in CONTEMPORARY society entails…contrasting the roll “masculinity” for the last 4000 years (or so)? Perhaps a Goofus/Gallant , Doobee/DONTbee, Chivalry/Chav lists would be a helpful for this solicitation of free “new” material? I, for one, would have great difficulty… Read more »
@Jonas
❞❞ (You
never hear anyone say “Be a woman.”) ❞❞
But some men say they want a feminine woman, and sounds like that means ” to be a woman” to them.
I found myself asking a different but related question the other night: “Why do we need the words ‘masculinity’ and ‘femininity’?” What purpose do they fill in our society, where gender has a diminishing impact on our lives?
How come, with the negative connotations of masculinity, people still say “Be a man”? (You never hear anyone say “Be a woman.”)
Great questions, Jonas. Here’s to us receiving some solid submissions on these topics!
~Cameron