A breakup means to end a relationship with someone due to the different compatibility between two individuals. Separation usually occurs when you try hard to sort out your mutual relationship problems but fail to maintain a healthy relationship. It is extremely difficult to get a relationship to work effectively after a breakup. It results in a pessimistic outlook on life. So, it is the last stage of a relationship, and, with few exceptions, you cannot rebuild this relationship due to past feelings of anger, guilt, grief, and rejection.
Here are nine reasons that show why a relationship will probably not work after a breakup.
1. You cannot compromise your self-respect.
A relationship is always an embodiment of self-esteem. After a breakup, you cannot bend your head in front of your partner due to your high moral and social values. You will not compromise on your ego. Therefore, you cannot rebuild a healthy relationship with your ex to secure self-confidence.
2. You will always have feelings of resentment.
When your partner ends a relationship with you, you have to face feelings of anger, guilt, and resentment. You used to talk about the unhealthy patterns of your partner to console yourself. If you want to reconnect with your ex-partner, you will have to progressively face these feelings of guilt. You cannot make a perfect relationship with that person who broke up before.
3. You have a chapter of bad memories.
A breakup usually occurs due to personality clashes or domestic issues. In addition, you have to face feelings of disgrace at that time. You cannot overcome these difficulties in a relationship instantly. It is human nature that you cannot forget your bad memories entirely. These memories strike your consciousness frequently to remember the past grieves. So, you cannot pave your way to life again with your ex-partner.
4. You cannot justify your action to society.
If you want to rebuild a relationship with your ex-partner, you have to answer the questions of society. You have to encounter different queries from your social circle. You cannot justify your action without any solid reason. You cannot create a solid basis because you had told all the negativities of your ex-partner in your social circle at the time of the breakup.
5. You have lost your identity.
Breakup is a curse in modern society. In most cases, you cannot have a good life after a breakup. It shatters your personality. You become a victim of prolonged suffering generally. Building a relationship again with the same person will require a substantial recovery of you which is not possible instantly. Your soul takes time to heal the traumatic feelings.
6. You have frustrated feelings.
After a breakup, you become more conscious about your future. You become a victim of frustration. You do not trust anyone blindly. You indeed consider yourself meaningless. If your ex-partner wants to rebuild a relationship, you cannot ignore your previous experience with him. You cannot make a strong relationship with him again.
7. You do not want to take a risk.
If you have a problematic relationship prior, you cannot retake a risk of an unhealthy relationship. You will not allow your ex-partner to repeat the toxic relationship with you. You will not believe him anymore after his deception. You cannot let yourself get trapped in the clutches of his unfaithful self. You will not be able to trust him. Indeed, you will not allow yourself to become a fool by his hand again and again.
8. You do not have intense feelings now.
You do not focus on loving thoughts after a breakup. You lack passionate feelings for your ex-partner. You do not want to recollect all the positive reviews which your partner has. As a result, you lose trust in love. Even after the breakup, if your partner wants to move back to the previous relationship, you will not believe his words because you are aware of his actual actions now.
9. You have a communication gap.
When your relationship breaks, there is a communication gap. If you do not have strong compatibility after communicating with your partner, you cannot lose yourself by rebuilding the relationship with him. You avoid your ex-partner because talking to him does not please your soul. You cannot waste your life continuing this relationship.
Conclusion
A partnership is always a manifestation of one’s self-worth. You may experience wrath, remorse, and resentment when your spouse breaks off the relationship. Therefore, you cannot create a good relationship with your ex-partner. In most cases, personality conflicts or home problems lead to a split. You cannot start your new life together under the influence of such issues and societal queries. Reestablishing a relationship with the same individual will call for a thorough rehabilitation on your part, which takes time. Unless there is time along with a strong desire of both partners to fix the underlying issues, it is unlikely you can have a close relationship after a breakup.
—
This post was previously published on medium.com.
***
You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism | Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box | The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer | What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
—
Photo credit: iStockPhoto.com