While a lot of research has gone into understanding whether a man and woman can be friends (and nothing else), there is no clear answer emerging from these numerous surveys and analyses. At the end of the day, all of us have experienced our lives in different ways, and have our own unique equation with the opposite sex. If you have an interesting story to share about a friend, or an observation to make, write to us.
How well do you gel with the opposite sex?
Have you been in a relationship where you had to struggle to be “just a friend”?
Has a friend ever crossed the line?
Has a friendship transformed into something bigger than love or lust?
How important is it to be comfortable with the opposite sex?
How does one preserve the innocence inherent in friendships? What are the rules?
Tell us your stories!
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unless you treat your friend of opposite sex as your brother or sister,you will surely get attracted to him/her at times.
Honestly, I say no. This is a personal thing for me. While anything is possible, it is just not possible with me.
I do have one female friend of 20 years. But, that is only because she is married and we once worked very closely together.
I think that the qualifiers we typically cite for a relationship to be considered “platonic” are absurdly strict. Occasionally, you get an email from your boss that makes you want to throw a stapler at their head. Does that make you violent? Obviously not. You love your children, but sometimes when they do something ridiculously dumb, you want to throttle them. Doesn’t mean you don’t love them unconditionally. Then there’s that coworker who also happens to be a mega-hottie. You respect her professionally and genuinely consider her to be a friend. Then fateful day, after a few months of unsuccessful… Read more »
completely agree with you. loved the line: human relationships are rarely 100% anything… thanks!
I am currently in a somewhat precarious situation. My very good friend and I are co-workers. We both have our own relationships. Mine is polyamorous/open, but hers probably isn’t. We spend a lot of time together, and most of that time is a great time. On several occasions, I seriously considered asking her if she’d be interested in anything more than the friendship we currently have, but never did out of fear that it would damage the friendship. I’m afraid that after that, she would view all my good actions towards her as an attempt to win her affinity. I… Read more »
Hmmmm… are you sure you are just friends with her? i sense something more. 🙂 good luck!
Honestly, there is something more, at least from my side; I am utterly into her, and have been since our friendship started. I have many female friends, and this doesn’t usually happen to me, but she is an amazing human. I never told her, because of reasons described above. It seems to me like there are 3 possible outcomes of me expressing my feelings: 1. She will refuse, and get upset or the friendship we currently have will get damaged 2. She will refuse, and nothing will change (except for me knowing, and her knowing; removed ambiguity) 3. She will… Read more »
if you had noticed that you were drowning in her the moment you befriended her, then that probably was a good time to get away. 🙁 maybe i am wrong and life never is that easy. i have a feeling she can sense what you think…she probably isn’t asking. it isn’t tough for women to figure out when a guy is hooked to them, but perhaps different women respond differently to people. i would surely have known. do u feel she deserves to know because you simply can’t hold yourself back anymore? it’s what i think…i could be wrong again.… Read more »
I’m not sure I follow, why would I want to get away? To avoid this whole situation? Then I wouldn’t have such a good friend. Moreover, because we are co-workers, it would be difficult to get away without rearranging a lot of other things.
Regarding her being able to sense, I wouldn’t be surprised, although I’m trying to not send any signals, out of fears described above. However, I think she deserves to know from me because it’s something directly involving her. Also, not telling her feels like deception, and I hate being deceptive.
yes, then you must. 🙂
I have always bonded better with members of the opposite sex. Whether it be at school, in the work place, or in my personal life. I have a much larger female group of friends than male. I have stronger bonds with a few of those female friends than I have with my closest male friends. During almost 40 years of living, only 2 of those relationships were romantically motivated on my part. One never went further than friends, due to us both being shy teenagers, too naive to realise that we both fancied each other (later conversations in life confirmed… Read more »
thanks, paul. you perhaps belong a culture that allows you to bond better with women. it’s not the case everywhere, but I agree with you when you say that men and women can surely be friends…can they be “just friends”? is it a struggle to keep friendships intact when you are friends with the opposite sex?