Changing My Mind About Race

When my friend and my peer, Jardana Peacock, asked me to create a practice to help white people step into their power and create change, I enthusiastically said yes. And then, almost immediately, I coiled back and felt a dark cloud of fear come over me.

I contemplated my response for a few days, sitting with my fear and trying to understand its origin. Yet even as I write this blog post, I am finding myself choosing my words more carefully than ever before.

I’ve never considered myself a racist. I have shared passionate and healing discussions with small groups of friends and family. I have practiced observing & changing my conditioned responses to minority groups, racial biases, and privileged opportunities. I have extended my heart and my love to each person I meet as fully and equally as possible.

But I have not ever before committed my thoughts to writing. So, before I talk about my own fears surrounding this subject, let me give you some perspective as to where I am coming from.

I am a 24-year old white woman.

I was born into a period of time that flaunted a facade of equality, a country that bragged about the progress we’ve made as a society while hiding parts of our own history (widespread state resistance towards desegregation, Native American boarding schools, the effects of modern gentrification) and focusing on incriminating details of other’s (the Holocaust and Nazi regime, genocide in Africa, and turbulence in the Middle East.)

I was also born into a privileged life – never once experiencing the dread of poverty, threats to my personal safety, or the pain of family separation.

Given the opportunities that I believe every child should have, I now live as an adult with the education, the resources, and the support to make a difference in my world.

So why am I so fearful?

Why did I shrink back with the thought of writing about race? It felt as if I was circling around the answer to this question, not wanting to admit that I had known it all along. Taking a big sigh of relief, I finally felt ready to say it out loud, with full conviction.

I am part of the problem. 

There is no denying that with the rise of modern technology and social media we have more access to information than ever before in history.

There is no denying that I am gifted more “reasonable doubt” than a black person because of the pigment of my skin.

There is no denying that my voice can and will make a difference if I learn to speak clearly and effectively.

No, I have not personally wronged an individual because of his or her race. But yes, I am responsible for the actions of others that I witness and choose to not speak against. There is no denying that I am part of the problem if I allow my powerful position as a white person to go to waste.

But, it helps no one if I continue to focus on why I am part of the problem, what is going wrong, and how we got to this bad place. As in all of my work, I tried to turn this negative perspective into a positive one, and I asked myself this:

How can I be part of the solution?

People say that progress takes time. But they also say that people don’t change – which is simply not true.

I see people change their bodies every day. I see people change and grow their minds every day. And so I know that the stronger and more flexible we become as individuals, we will grow more open to changing our beliefs, and more capable of creating new and positive solutions for our future.

I’m not saying it will be easy or that it won’t take time, but it will require PEOPLE to change – not just policy.

Here is a short video that I created that talks about why its a good thing to change your mind. I also give you the first steps towards greater flexibility when it comes to conditioned & patterned belief systems.

Personally, I had to change my mind and admit that I am part of the problem. Realizing this will allow me to take REAL and meaningful action as I work to find a solution – for my peers, for my community, and for the world.

In the midst of all of the violence, hatred, and fear caused by racial tensions, Jardana has been a guiding light for me – spreading so much positivity and love.

Let us all work to LOVE MORE, realize ways to love greater, find people to love deeply, and gain the strength to keep on loving. 

I want to hear your personal thoughts – either in the comments below or by email at [email protected].

In love,

Maria

This article originally MariaBorghoff.com

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Photo credit: Getty Images