In Doctor Strange (2016), Benedict Cumberbatch played Stephen Strange, who’s mentor the Ancient One, played by Tilda Swinton, is dying. In their out-of-body spiritual forms, they float next to each other watching the quiet night skyline.
For 700 years the Ancient One foresaw her death. She says, “Death is what gives life meaning. To know your days are numbered. Your time is short.” Mortality is the profound human design. Our time on Planet Earth is finite.
Werner Erhard said, “The only meaning in life is the meaning that we give it.” Do you choose a meaningful life in the numbered days? Just asking.
Werner said that when we get that we choose who we are going to be in any given moment, then making a difference becomes our most authentic self-expression. Making a difference gives life meaning in our numbered days.
In Doctor Strange, the Ancient One tells Stephen, “Arrogance and fear still keep you from learning the simplest and most significant lesson of all… It’s not about you.” It’s about others, about them. Making a difference, serving the greater good gives life meaning.
Maybe, making a difference is our inherent human design, in our DNA. Still, I have to love and forgive myself to make a difference, have a meaningful life. My spiritual twin brother Dolph Lundgren, the actor, martial artist, child abuse survivor, and therapy participant, said, “You have to love yourself.” Only when we love ourselves, heal ourselves can we make a difference for others which can be our inherent calling.
Since I was a little boy, Dad scared me to my very soul. Whatever I did or didn’t do only got him so angry at me. I lived my no-win scenario childhood. I was never be good enough to Dad. Never would be. I would never be good enough for anyone else including me. I hated on myself. I got very good at that, too. I feared inside that I’m not good enough. That I never would be.
In the First Noble Truth of Buddhism there will always be suffering in life. The Fourth Noble Truth of Buddhism is the path to end suffering. On my path to end suffering, I learned to love myself for who I am and forgive myself for who I’m not.
The late Mizukami Sensei taught me Aikido for 25 years until he passed away. Sensei became a father to me, taught me to be a good man, a good person. Sensei trained me to be of service and make a difference for others. In Aikido, Sensei said, “Wait it out. Enter the attack. Take a glancing blow if you have to. You’re not always going to get away scot-free. It’s one time.” That wasn’t only meant for the 250-pound man punching to my face, that was Sensei’s life lesson. I take a glancing blow, take a hit for what’s meaningful to me. I risk myself to have a meaningful life. I give my life meaning.
Mizukami Sensei taught Ishibashi Sensei and me. Ishibashi Sensei said, “The purpose of Aikido is to release your fear.” Sensei said, “The safest place to be is under the attack, in the danger.” I enter the attack, get under the attack. Hold my position, make my timing, and open up. I let go my fear inside that I’m not good enough. Although my fear inside never compeletely disappears, every time I enter what I fear, I let go more and more of my fear inside. I free myself. I give my life meaning.
All that Mizukami Sensei and Ishibashi Sensei bestowed to me, I pass on to others so that that they can invent the greater-than versions of themselves. What they both have done for me. I get to make a difference. I have a meaningful life.
I use what Mizukami Sensei and Ishibashi Sensei taught me in working with my therapist Lance Miler to heal my childhood trauma and depression. I enter the fear that I’m not good enough, my fear of Dad as a scared child. I forgave my Dad for not knowing how to be a father, for being afraid inside, and for being imperfectly human. I forgive myself for not being strong enough to stand up to Dad as a little boy and protect Mom. I love and forgive mine own self.
On my path to end suffering, I love myself for who I am and forgive myself for who I’m not. I can make a difference in life. Death is what gives life meaning by design. Still, I give life meaning, too. I give my life meaning. I have a meaningful life. I have life that I’m proud of. I do my best to make a difference for others in my short time, in my numbered days. It’s not about me. It’s about others, about them.
Choose your meaningful life. And the world will be all the greater for it. Amen.
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Photo: Unsplash
