The Grand Champion of the 2021 Button Poetry video contest.
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Transcript provided by YouTube (unedited)
0:02
– The Arena Football League, Aqua Teen Hunger Force,
0:07
the Fast and the Furious series, Captain Planet,
0:12
American Ninja Warrior, WCW Nitro.
0:17
All these things lasted longer than the Confederacy.
0:21
FUBU, No Limit Records, Wizards of Waverly Place,
0:26
That’s So Raven, Teen Titans Go,
0:30
Law & Order SVU, Burning Man, Lollapalooza.
0:36
The gap between Frank Ocean albums.
0:38
All these things lasted longer than the Confederacy.
0:42
College, college debt.
0:45
The voicemails of debt collectors
0:46
played one after another like an album
0:48
with infinite songs you skip.
0:51
Skip and Shannon: Undisputed.
0:53
The Undertaker’s Wrestlemania streak.
0:55
That weird period of time the Undertaker rode a motorcycle
0:58
and listened to Limp Bizkit.
1:00
Limp Bizkit.
1:01
All these things lasted longer than the Confederacy.
1:04
My cousin’s prison sentence,
1:06
the year between when he was first eligible for parole
1:09
and the year he got it.
1:11
My cousin’s probation.
1:12
My baby cousin’s baby was born two years ago.
1:15
In two years, a baby will survive
1:17
longer than the government.
1:19
The time between the last time I called my grandma
1:21
and the day she died, all these things
1:23
lasted longer than the Confederacy.
1:26
The Frieza Saga, the filler arcs in Naruto,
1:28
One Piece, one piece of One Piece.
1:31
OutKast, the time between when the last
1:33
OutKast song was released and now.
1:35
Now That’s What I Call Music, Kidz Bop, Kid and Play.
1:39
The time it would take to play every PlayStation game,
1:41
and I’m only talking about PlayStation one.
1:43
All these things lasted longer than the Confederacy.
1:47
Britney Spears’ reign on the top of the charts,
1:49
the rivalry between NSYNC and the Backstreet Boys,
1:51
the collapse of the boy band era.
1:53
Bad Boy Records, Bad Boys for Life.
1:56
The friendship between Martin Lawrence and Will Smith,
1:58
all these things, you know what?
2:00
I’ve had six relationships
2:01
that lasted longer than the Confederacy.
2:03
My friends have had drug addictions
2:05
that lasted longer than the Confederacy.
2:07
When I die, girls who follow me on social media
2:10
will cry and mourn for longer than the Confederacy.
2:15
When I am a constellation, my stars will go out
2:18
one by one as the universe dies.
2:21
The sound of star makes when it’s dissolving into gas
2:24
is the same sound a Confederate flag makes in the breeze,
2:28
the sound of surrender.
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This post was previously published on YouTube.
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