Claiming Space in the Most Unexpected Place

After coming home from my twenty-mile bike ride, I found myself hyper-aware of my physical space today — which happened to be the shower in my mom and dad’s master bedroom.

For context, my kids and I live with my parents, and our bathroom is being painted right now.

Okay, back to my story.

I leaned against the shower wall and let the steaming hot water rinse my blood, sweat, and tears away. As I stood there, releasing everything I was holding on to at the moment, a warm sense of immense gratitude washed over me for being exactly where I’m supposed to be. I then, of course, started to think of what direction I wanted to take this prompt. How do I wrangle, define, and hold on to my “space” right now? It came down to three comical categories in my head: Party of Five (Physical Space), Dear Medium, You Were Meant For Me (Connected/ Relational Space), and Me, Myself, and I (Mental/Emotional Space)

. . .

Party of Five (Physical Space)

Does anyone remember that show? I giggled a little when this title came to mind. I was wandering around my parent’s kitchen, cooking up dinner ideas for the five of us that night, when I thought, “Huh!? We are like a party of five!” Living with your parents at thirty-nine while you dredge through the muck of a merciless divorce as a single mother isn’t ideal, per se. But neither is assuming guardianship of your four younger siblings after your parents die in a horrific car crash. Nevertheless, as time passes and the dust settles, the kids, my parents, and I are finding our way back to that dinner table together.

Dear Medium, You Were Meant For Me (Connected/Relational Space)

There’s nothing like a divorce to shake things up — especially your tried and not-so-true friend circle. I am still finding my way with new and old friends and probably will be in the foreseeable future. But I believe that I was meant to be part of the Medium community with every fiber of my being; it’s also somewhere I never thought I would be. When I was a teenager feverishly writing my thoughts down in a journal or when I published my first article in April 2018, I couldn’t fathom healing and making money in the same day from one of my most cherished pastimes. No matter where I roam and with whom I run, this platform and everyone on it is home to me.

Me, Myself, and I (Mental/Emotional Space)

A resounding “Be gentle with yourself” was heard from Therapists around the world. Finally, I’m listening. I am holding a space for myself like you wouldn’t believe. I’m writing like crazy. I’m exploring the world on my mountain bike and loving myself like I never have before, all the while being the best mom I can be. I am taking up space in this world like I matter, belong, and am valuable.

It feels incredible.

Closing Thoughts

Have you recently been through a divorce? Are you living with your parents too? Could you use some more self-care and self-love? I’ll tell ya; waking up in the morning and walking into the kitchen to enjoy a cup of coffee with my mom any day of the week never gets old. I love every space I’m in — even if it’s not where I thought I’d be at this point in my life. However you define space — I hope you learn to love and embrace all of it.

. . .

Thank you for reading.

—

This post was previously published on Being Known.

***

You Might Also Like These From The Good Men Project

You Said ‘Race’, but Are You Actually Talking About Race?

Understanding the Nonbinary: Are You Confusing Gender With Sex?

The Difference Between Compassion for Those With Disabilities & Ableism?

‘Masculinity’ Is Having an Identity Crisis