In Mind the Game Pod with Lebron James and JJ Redick, Lebron and JJ discussed how Steph Curry revolutionized the NBA game. Basically, Steph can sink 3-point shots once he crosses the half-court line. Lebron said, “You have to get comfortable being uncomfortable.” I have to be comfortable with uncomfortable, whenever I work on myself, to become greater-than I am.
Academy and Grammy Award Winning Songwriter and Producer Finneas O’Connell spoke of completing the album Hit Me Hard and Soft with his Award Winning Singer-Songwriter sister Billie Eilish. Finneas is so very proud of their album. It was a difficult journey for both.
Finneas said, “I think that it doesn’t have to feel good in the moment to end up this way.” He admitted, “What’s scarier than change?” What is scarier than becoming what you don’t know?
After Sunday Aikido practice, Ishibashi Sensei sat tying his shoes. He asked, “So did you get enough falls?” I smiled, “Yeah, I need to take some more.” We both laughed out loud. Really, I didn’t. I was dead tired. I left it all out on the Dojo mat.
Sensei made me train with two younger black belts on ryu-katate-tori (throws for the attacker grabbing my wrist with both of their hands). The other guys got tired, gassed out. Although the training was rigorous and intense. Yeah, I was tired, too. But I kept going. I said to myself, “One more throw… Get up one more time.”
I said to Sensei, “I’m over 60 (years old). They’re 20 years younger than me.”
Sensei smiled, “Yeah, you gotta help me push them.”
I smiled back, “Yeah.”
There’s samurai saying, “Nana karobi ya oki.” That means: Fall down seven times, get up eight.
When I train to become the best version of myself, it’s suppose to be uncomfortable.
The late Mizukami Sensei, who taught both Ishibashi Sensei and me, said, “Wait it out. Enter the attack. Take a glancing blow if you have to. You’re not always going get away scot-free. It’s one time.”
Ishibashi Sensei said, “Get under the attack, in the danger. That’s the safest place to be.” That’s uncomfortable, too. No shit.
The 250-pound man punches to my face. I wait it out. I enter the attack. Enter what I fear. I match the attack with my attack. I apply nikkyo (wristlock) to myself, not to the attacker. I match the punch with yoko-iriminage (strike to the side of the head) to the attacker. I can let the attacker pass or end the attack. The attacker can take the fall or get hit in the face. We both choose. I could win or lose. The attacker could win or lose. What happens, happens.
When I enter the attack, I’m uncomfortable. Yeah, I’m afraid. Every time I enter the attack, enter what I fear, I let go more and more of my fear inside that I’m not good enough. My fear of Dad when I was a little boy. I’m uncomfortable, I’m afraid when I look at my childhood trauma and depression with my therapist Lance Miller. I forgive my Dad for not knowing how to be a father, for being afraid, and for being imperfectly human. I forgive myself for not being strong enough to stand up to Dad and protect Mom. I forgive myself for being imperfectly human, too.
In being uncomfortable, I learned to love myself for who I am and forgive myself for who I’m not. By being uncomfortable, I free myself. I’m comfortable being uncomfortable. I’m comfortable being afraid. That’s the way, I let go my fear inside. I practice that over, and over, and over again. That’s the way I free me.
In the First Noble Truth of Buddhism, there will always be suffering in life. The Fourth Noble Truth of Buddhism is the path to end suffering. Like Finneas said, you don’t always feel good in the moment along the journey. I have to be comfortable being uncomfortable, to invent the greater-than version of me.
Still, that being said. After every Aikido practice, I smile and say to Ishibashi Sensei, “I have more stuff to work on.” Sensei smiles, too. Yeah, becoming the best I that I can be is uncomfortable. Sometimes, I get tired, get sore, feel bad in the moment. In the bigger picture, I still have fun doing so. If it’s not fun, why do it? Just asking.
I work on myself, not on others. That’s all I can do. I have as much fun for as long as I can, too. Maybe, that’s the Fifth Noble Truth. Who knows.
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Photo by Chase Moyer on Unsplash
