This comment was by Axaybachey in reference to the post – Ignore This Advice: It’s Ruining Your Relationship
Within reason, it shouldn’t matter how a problem is communicated. If there’s a problem and any party is capable of resolving the matter, they are obligated to do so. Period.
I wonder exactly where the idea came from that criticism, or the expression of undesirable things, is bad, in and of itself? It’s actually a perfectly natural and healthy part of life!
For that example with the key: any rational adult should know why leaving a key in an exterior lock is a bad idea. And any party who does so should accept their responsibility to not do so and work on changing, to better themselves.
If per chance they didn’t understand, or they were a child, an explanation would be appropriate. But, if an adult, it’s the faulting parties responsibility to express a need for explanation.
You have a problem with something they do and state as much. They either understand and work to change or request an explanation. They either accept and agree with the explanation and work to change, or the disagree and no progress is made. If no progress can be made through agreement of error on their part, you can choose to either disregard their behavior in the future, accept an error on your part (if you’ve made an error,) or distance yourself from the situation or the faulting party.
Sometimes conflicts occur because of one party’s irrational beliefs, sometimes they occur because of one party’s failure to behave appropriately, and sometimes conflicts can’t be resolved. But it should never be one party’s responsibility to parent the other unless the other is actually a child … and such a requirement should diminish over time, unless they have some sort of learning disability.
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